Okay… so… yesterday was appointment number 2 with the Rheumatologist. I like her. Yesterday she was a bit busier and more harried… but she was running behind and she was very apologetic over it all… first doctor who ever did that, too.
So… blood work and x-rays came back. I don’t have Lupus. I have not be exposed to hepatitis. I have RA. I thought MAYBE I had it 5 or 6 months. NOT. Based on the test results, and the already erosion of bone in my hands and feet, it has been at LEAST a year.
Wow. At least a year.
Still a good bit of swelling in a lot of joints, so we bumped the prednizone back up to a pill a day.
Yesterday I was really disgusted with myself. How could I not notice for a whole year? How could I blow it off for so long? Guilt is horrible. Yes, I know it isn’t a constructive emotion, but I don’t care. Went to Walmart to pick up folic acid and methaltrexate. And the adventure begins.
This morning I’m less beating myself up. I’m more… weird. Contemplative…
It is starting to be really real. I’m waking up and remembering to take my pills…. out of sheer “duh, stupid, it hurts” I think, but I’m remembering…