It’s my Self-pity-party and I’ll whine if I want to

Am I REALLY that weird?

And before my kids (on the off chance that either of them actually read this) have a chance to chime in, yeah, I realize that I’m really kind of that weird in MOST ways… but… am I REALLY that out of the norm?

I don’t think I am because I’ve talked to people at work who are “like me” and they are a lot like me.

I have RA.  Duh…
I hurt (big shock there).  Some days more than others.  Some days really nearly approach what I can remember (from half a decade ago… when normal might have been).  Some days it really is like someone poured crushed glass into my joints.  Most days I ache but I can take enough of the edge off to not let it rule my life.

Thank heavens that I’m not disabled… at least not yet.

I have days when it depresses the crap out of me.  Again… duh…

But as a general rule, I figure dwelling on the why me… being debbie downer… why waist what energy I do have on being whiny about it?  They say it takes fewer muscles to smile than frown.  Fewer muscles, less work.  Logic dictates that means that if I smile (even if I don’t FEEL like smiling) it is less work.

Shutting up is less work than bitching.

If I can lose myself in music (irrespective of what the music is that I chose) then I’m losing myself and not getting upset.

I understand that there are times when you really just need to dump on people who understand.  Hell, sometimes you just need to dump, it doesn’t matter if it is on someone who understands or not…  but I just don’t understand how can anyone spend so much time dwelling on the worst part of their lives?

Maybe I am that weird.  I know that when I’m in the middle of a flair, I TOTALLY don’t feel like being mary sunshine.  But I keep remembering… Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are usually right

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