Monthly Archives: September 2010

Sometimes it really is all about perspective

Graces 9/30/10

1. Thursday is over.  It was a horribly busy day… it was 6:00 before I got “lunch”… missed yoga… tired… glad it is just over

2. The blush of a sunrise

3. getting the opportunity, after so many years, to be allowed to baby my baby girl.  She doesn’t like to need help, but she sometimes does need to be mommied.

4. The chillier nights mean that the dog likes to snuggle close…

5. Watching my babies grow up.

Graces September 29, 2010

It is neat how this is starting to change my thinking.  Not a lot, I’ve always noticed a lot of the small things, but now I’m looking for more ways to make sure that other people (kidlings) start to see them, too.

1. No one was hurt in the scary weirdness of yesterday.

2.Purple cast material

3. stopping for a cup of pumpkin spice latte coffee

4. walking 3 miles, to the school and back, in my vibrams

5. free books

Mornings

Let’s face it… mornings happen everywhere, every day.  While I completely understand that a lot of people aren’t morning people, but I think that to a great degree how you greet the morning is a lot like how you feel about the day.  You can choose to be cranky and crabby and to hate the day or you can enjoy the sunrise, the sound of the trains going through, the dew, the stars, the beginning of the day.

I love mornings.  I love to hear the trains down on the tracks… the sound carries so amazingly in the darkness.

I love to hear the birds come alive as the morning breaks

I love the peace of no one (for the most part) else up and around as I greet the day.

I was watching Sunrise Earth this morning (I love getting to see the whole thing on days when I work from home).  It was Arches National Park.  I realized that there are amazing things about just about everywhere in the early morning hours and that each place is incredibly unique and special.

Graces September 28, 2010…

1. cloudless starry skies

2. pumpkin coffee and joy tea

3. the fleeting glimpse of the hot air balloon

4. The smile of angel boy as he snuggles the dog

5. watching the dog roll in the mud of the creek just for the sheer joy of rolling in in.  NOW, of course, she is stinky and gray… but… she completely enjoyed it.

Gallery

Fractured Angel Girl

Tonight I took a pit stop on the way to pick up the Squirrel at drill team practice.  Her friend was really upset and I stopped to talk to her. I’ve decided based on that conversation that I’m really a … Continue reading

Gallery

Heavenly

It is Sunday afternoon.  There are some mares tales clouds in the sky, it is windy… the cold front (“cold” front) came through.  It is “only” 83 degrees.  Amandya is freezing. I’ve been sitting outside all afternoon and loving it.  … Continue reading

Thinking a lot on a Saturday Afternoon…

Saturday…

9 am took Adam’s teeny tiny laptop to Best Buy to have the cracked monitor screen (horribly cracked) fixed.  It will be at least a couple weeks before it gets back…  time will tell how well it will be fixed or if it will “just” be replaced.

Bent over to pick up the paper after I dropped it… and my back went out.  Hot bath didn’t help a whole lot.  I’m not hurrying anywhere… but if I stay in one position I can do this for the most part.  It should go back in in a couple days.

Psychologist appointment went amazingly well.  He is in the process of moving.  It is sad… he has been in that office as long as we have been here.  It is comfortable and familiar.  Now he is moving.  He told Amandya that he thinks she can scale way back on visits.  The crisis is over and she is gaining control again.  This is a good thing.

Panda Express for lunch… with a McDonalds pitt stop for coffee… mmmmm

Walmart for pills and I got Crochet Nylon… I’m making my own yoga strap.  I know they aren’t very expensive, but I have been wanting one and wanting to be able to customize my own strap… now I am.  I am nearly done with it… it feels good to have the progress and with the help it will give me in my practice and it makes me smile.

Graces Day 9.  September 25, 2010…

1. Pictures from home.  They were wonderful… and they made me smile and made me cry and made me feel so close and so far away.  They are a treasure.

2. Having external validation that Amandya is doing better.

3.  Having Amandya come tell me, for the first time in forever, that she was going to the park by herself.

4. Panda Express

5.  The idea of bringing together some stories that I have inside to bring it to the world…

Methotrexate Shots

It’s Friday.  Today was supposed to be the first time I gave myself my MTX shot in my stomach.  I sat on the commode for half an hour trying to “just drop the needle into the stomach”.  In the end, I was a weenie and I just couldn’t do it.  I’m not proud of this but it is what it is.  There was just something in my head keeping me from sticking myself.  Adam is sure that next week I will be able to do it.  I’m not so sure.  I do know that bear was my hero.  I handed the needle to him and he just… gave me my shot.  He said he was just thinking… it is a pin cushion… it is a pin cushion.  He made sure that I got the medicine I needed.

I SO don’t understand how anyone who doesn’t HAVE to do that to themselves can willingly stick the shiny little needle into their body on a routine basis.

Now, this week’s meds are done.  Yeah!!!

Amandya is asleep upstairs on her floor.  I’m not sure what it is about her floor, but she seems to like sleeping there.  It might just be that she doesn’t want to clean off the bed.  Whatever it is, she is curled up under her fuzzy Marine blanket (I bought yardage last year at Walmart for her… half of it is on her wall, the other half is her blanket).  She came home early today.  Her side hurts.  Her left side… not sure what is up.  I’m hoping rest will help.

Graces September 24, 2010 … Day 8

1.  Having someone I trust to give me my injection
2.  Getting a hug from someone who doesn’t “do” hugs… just because
3.  I made the day of the lady in the coffee shop in the lobby when I told her she looked good and had lost weight
4.  Realizing that maybe I do have a message and that it would be good to get that word out
5.  Planet Green.  I love the programs that are on Planet Green… 30 days… Beekman Boys… Everest… they may not all be like my life, but they are all life and they all talk to me.

Catching up with the good things…

Today is a bad day that turned around… it turned out wonderfully…

Today, I’m catching up… yesterday I had to work late and didn’t get in my writing… so here I am…

Graces September 22, 2010 day 6

1. A free cup of iced coffee (go frequent coffee cards!)

2. smiling, joking, friendly people working at Dunkin Donut at 6:30 am

3. Cars that have cat eyes for tail lights and faces in their back ends.  It makes driving into town a smiley thing.

4. Cream and Sugar

5. Getting my usual parking spot even though there was filming for something and all of the crew and extras were supposed to park in the parking garage where work pays for my parking.

6. Fall!!!  okay… 89 degrees isn’t exactly “fall”… not fall from my heart… but it is still fall… and I went out and spent an obscene amount of money on pumpkin spice coffee (ground coffee from Walmart) and 2 halloween bandanas (one is purple with ghosts… one is black with candy corn “faces” in the corners.

7. A goody bag of smelling things from home

Graces September 23, 2010… Day 7

1. Having the yoga teacher tell me that my mountain pose was perfect.  Okay… mountain pose is standing with your feet together, arms at your side, legs straight, but tucked under, shoulders down your back… breathing.   but it was good to have her say it was really good.  I can stand up straight… really is the little things

2. lavender tea

3. free cookies

4. Watching my daughter grown into such a strong young woman.  She faced today with a really crappy surprise and rather than get upset or run away, she faced it head on.  She found out that the person who was dumping on here wasn’t as powerful as she gave him credit for and that she is a stronger person than she gives herself credit for.  AND she has a lot of people noticing how strong she is.

5. Watching my son stick up for his sister.  Siblings can fight like cats and dogs, but it is good for her to know he does have her back.

6. Having my facebook status borrowed.  I was angry at the cause of #4 from today last night… someone who claimed he loved her dearly but who couldn’t life with her not loving him back was the source of her issues today.  Last night he told her that he was going to make her understand what it was like to hurt.  It really bothered me a lot and I posted a status…

Real love isn’t hurting someone just because you can. It is not hurting someone even though you know you could

and it struck home with more people than I thought it would.  Sometimes I get it… sometimes I can really verbalize what is in my heart.  Sometimes it strikes home with others.  Yes, mom, I’m paying attention.

Happy Thursday.

Gallery

Graces… 5

It’s Tuesday. Dark clouds chase bright blue patches of sky… tall white towers separate the bright blue from the dark gray.  Right now the back yard has shadows and dimming light patches.  It is fun to watch.  The rainy spots … Continue reading

The Customer and the cutomer’s doctor are always… wrong???

Hello

Is April there

Speaking

Hi this is <bbbllllaaahhh bllllaaahhhh bllllaaaaahhhh> pharmacy.  Did your doctor call in a prescription today for inject-able methotrexate?

Yeah… <lets forget for JUST a second that I called YOU an hour ago and you were clueless about said prescription and lets pretend you care about your customers in this ever so wonderful economy>

Is there some REASON your doctor called in methotrexate that is preservative free?  Are you like allergic to something or anything? <first… guys shouldn’t use like unless it is a simile or it is actually LIKE something… valley girl doesn’t really suit some people… Second… I didn’t call the damn thing in, my doctor did… why are you asking ME why my DOCTOR did what my doctor did>

I don’t know.  Probably because that was what they wanted to order?

Well we don’t carry that. <implication… we will NEVER carry it and you can bite me… ha ha ha>

Does anyone in the area carry it?

No.  They don’t make it any more.  We think you should take the preservative methotrexate and we will call your doctor tomorrow to have this fixed. <WHAT?  YOU don’t think I need it?  Maybe there IS a reason?  MAYBE, just maybe I have an auto-immune disease and there is a reason?  Who are YOU to PRESUME to prescribe to me>

Whatever you have to do.

beep… beep… beep… beep beep beep beep

Hello <OTHER pharmacy>?  do you carry perservative free methotrexate?

Yes, we do.  Is there a problem?

Do you have any in stock?

Yes…

Can you transfer a prescription from <pharmacy down the road>

Yes we can.

good… please do

okay, will be ready in an hour.

REALLY?

Yes maam.

——————————————————————————————

Wow… a pharmacy that isn’t planning on arguing with my doctor about what my doctor prescribed… just because they didn’t like the prescription.  Novel concept.

I can’t believe in the economy the way it is today… that they can drive away customers just because they don’t like what my doctor says I”m supposed to take.

Is it impolite to tell a pharmacy to bite me?