Three weeks from surgery A couple weeks of being lazy. Guilt… all reasons that I should have been way more productive today. I wasn’t. And it was the best day. It wasn’t totally unproductive. I went for a nice walk … Continue reading
I’m running late. I dropped squirrel girl at driving school for her over the road time this morning. She isn’t happy it is 7 am but she is happy she gets a leg up on her classmates.
I stopped at Exxon tiger market for mountain Berry coffee.
And now I’m making myself deliberately later by hiding out in the meditation garden. I suppose I should feel guilty. I don’t. Ths helps so much to step out of the rat race even if the other rats are just a few feet away. The water and the wind chimes and even the trumpet vines and traffic sounds. I treasure this place and the time I can steal away to hide here all alone with myself.
She is very smart. She might not be quite as smart as the front she puts on and I think that might be huts all that it is, too, a front. I wish desperately that she was more comfortable with … Continue reading
I have been thinking about a post I read on a Facebook group this week. Someone with RA was told that they should do Yoga. I’ve been thinking this week. I have taken the corporate offered Yoga class for the … Continue reading
That’s it. It is just an orange kind of day
Air like orange juice
Temp like tropical Florida
But amazing sunrise to drive in.
There are times when just five minutes makes all the difference. I know I should get my proverbial (and literal) butt across the street… into the building and upstairs. I know this on my head. And yet, when the siren song of the wind chimes called to me I knew I needed to take just five minutes and creep into the garden and listen and be still.
The water quiets the street sounds.
The solitude quiets my racing thoughts and my stress.
The green creeps in and for just five minutes everything is OK.
“Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.” (Tim McMahon)
I have been poked to step out of myself and take on the bigger world.
I have watched it rain (YAY RAIN)
I have realized that I have amazing kids
I understand that even hypochondriacs get sick
It isn’t what you look at but how you see what you look at
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” (Tom Wilson)
I can’t change tomorrow. I can’t change yesterday. I can only try really really hard to make it through today…
Soooooooooooooo….. Here I am… Thinking that since I have to get up way way early to get my butt to work in the morning, I should try to sleep. Sleep isn’t likely. I’m totally stressing… and I’m not sure if … Continue reading
Sometimes I feel really goofy (the silliness not the dog) because I am terminally early. There is a wonderful member of my family who made me his way although she doesn’t know it. She is ALWAYS late and I am determined to not be her. So I ended up at my dr appointment half an hour early.
From the balcony of the still locked office I saw this bridge. It is nothing more or less than a knee high railing on a wooden walkway over a drainage ditch but it was just what I needed to help center and ground myself ths morning.
Sometimes I don’t feel so goofy for being early…
Up early. Well… Early for “normal” people, but normal is highly over rated. I can’t figure out how to get interested in much of anything this morning. Games hold my interest for about five minutes. Demanding little fuggle dog holds it a bit longer because frankly the mood I’m in means the comfort is very welcome.
Today (early appointment) I am going to see yet another doctor in my new favorite orthopedist office. They did great with my back. They are honest with Amandya about her knee. And Dr Booth is all for them and has worked with the group. Add to that the fact that I’ve met my magic deductible number and my extremely limited range of motion in my “boo boo” wrist… And… I’m going to see if there is anything this guy can do to help me.
I figure I will end up needing an MRI to get any real diagnosis and any real advice. That will probably have to wait till Friday, but the ball starts rolling today.
I feel a lot like Ebenezer Scrooge facing the spirit of Christmas Yet To Come… Of all the doctors offices I have been sitting in for me or my babies… This i the one I dread most. I’m scared that he will tell me there is nothing he can do to help. I’m even more scared that he will tell me that he can and it will mean surgery again.
People say that the pain of birth weakens in your mind. They are right. The pain of having my arm fixed each and every time is bright and real in my mind and it totally doesn’t wane. I want it to be fixed, I think, but the fear of facing that pain again deliberately scares the crap out of me.
Wish me luck guys… And have a great Monday…