I Fear What You Have to Show Me the Most

Up early. Well… Early for “normal” people, but normal is highly over rated. I can’t figure out how to get interested in much of anything this morning. Games hold my interest for about five minutes. Demanding little fuggle dog holds it a bit longer because frankly the mood I’m in means the comfort is very welcome.
Today (early appointment) I am going to see yet another doctor in my new favorite orthopedist office. They did great with my back. They are honest with Amandya about her knee. And Dr Booth is all for them and has worked with the group. Add to that the fact that I’ve met my magic deductible number and my extremely limited range of motion in my “boo boo” wrist… And… I’m going to see if there is anything this guy can do to help me.
I figure I will end up needing an MRI to get any real diagnosis and any real advice. That will probably have to wait till Friday, but the ball starts rolling today.
I feel a lot like Ebenezer Scrooge facing the spirit of Christmas Yet To Come… Of all the doctors offices I have been sitting in for me or my babies… This i the one I dread most. I’m scared that he will tell me there is nothing he can do to help. I’m even more scared that he will tell me that he can and it will mean surgery again.
People say that the pain of birth weakens in your mind. They are right. The pain of having my arm fixed each and every time is bright and real in my mind and it totally doesn’t wane. I want it to be fixed, I think, but the fear of facing that pain again deliberately scares the crap out of me.
Wish me luck guys… And have a great Monday…