At the risk of sounding like someone added something REALLY good to my Methotrexate I’m starting to think that there may be some very interesting mixed blessings that came along with my new reality.
Dealing with all of the interesting-ness that has been my life and the lives of my family… it has me started thinking more and more about what I love to do, what I have always loved to do… what I have always been very discouraged from doing. What I have been made fun of for doing. What I’ve been encouraged by teachers to do but only teachers (who obviously know NOTHING anyway or they wouldn’t be teaching… except the one who encouraged me the most is actually following his dream too… just also putting food on the table at the same time)…
The Phoenix lives for 500 to 1000 years depending on what legend you read. Once that time is over, it builds its own funeral pyre, throws itself into the flames and as it dies, it is reborn anew, rising from the ashes to live another 500 to 1000 years.
Now… I think a lot about me, and who I am and what I want my kids to know they can do and how to live my dreams. I feel like I have been through several lifetimes, if the 1000 years is only figurative.
I think my RA/Sjögren’s/Raynauds diagnoses helped me build my latest pyre. The fire is taking a pretty good chunk of time, but slowly I’m climbing out of the ashes and learning to be me. I’m learning that I may really have talent. I’m learning that you are never too old to learn to take wing and fly. I’m learning that dreams are dreams and they may evolve, they make slumber, but they are always there.