So, here I sit. I’m counting the days down until my next Rheumy appointment. I’m overdue. And I’m likely to be significantly more overdue for my infusion before I have any hope of getting in to get it. My hands … Continue reading
Monthly Archives: January 2014
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Yesterday, I could blame it on the dog. This morning… it’s my thoughts racing and chasing and my inability to stop them. And the achies that have settled into my hands. It is with great regret that I think of … Continue reading
Sitting here… the quiet of the house is settling around me. I’m watching the jobs running at work… running at work. I’m half way packing for the Disney trip. I’m contemplating the past year.
It’s been an eventful one.
Just a year ago Adam had his first seizure. I remember the panic in Brenden’s voice when I got the call. I remember helping laying Adam down on the couch as the post ictal overtook him and he slept… he turned 21… he came out. He tested the waters of dating, gotten burned a little. Found love a lot. This afternoon I watched him dance for the first time in sixteen years. The last time he danced was in kindergarten… he cracked his lip open when he fell… fear of the pain of dancing, tonight, was overcome by Over The Rainbow by Israel “Iz” Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole and Travis. The dance was incredible. The smile on Adam’s face even more priceless. He’s grown in his art. I need to find a way to encourage him to chase that dream, and his writing.
Nearly gave up on the Austin Half Marathon. I hurt so bad. I felt so alone. The volunteers have no idea how many times they kept me going. I wasn’t last. I did finish. In retrospect it was less awful than it seemed at the time. But… it woke me up and taught me a lesson. I need to listen to my body when it is bitching at me and not put off being completely honest with my doctors. I need to rely on myself to get through and get by. At the end of the race, when you cross the finish line, it’s not about when you finish, it is all about that you finish. And that is one horrible hill in Austin.
I watched my (adult) children grow and bloom. I watched them struggle. I watched them become more and more.
I saw the pride on my little girl’s face when she finished the Austin half marathon in Disney Half Marathon time with ZERO training and a knee that was hurting about a million. I watched her grow as a photographer and find her voice. Now if I can just help her find her confidence.
I grew friendships that mean the world to me. I realized what it means to have a best friend. To be a best friend and what not being able to talk to your best friend and share the stupidest things with them means. I have laughed and cried and worried and prayed and realized that it’s awesome to have someone to share with.
I have seen black spaghetti, beautiful multi-cultural places of worship and laughter… I fell in love with noodle soup (pho) and the amazing real places that we’ve seen. This world is an amazing place. It is full of truly amazing people. I struggle even more now than ever before with the bigotry, ignorance and intolerance that I see in the world.
I’ve struggled with my health.
I’ve struggled some with work.
And… the coming year is starting out exciting and frightening and depressing. I hope I’m up for the challenge. I hope everything in 2014 turns out to be a wonderful adventure.