When you realize just how much you over extended yourself

Me time matters more than you can believe. Not us time. Not you time. Me time. Being able to take even just ten or fifteen minutes to not have to be “on” for anyone else anywhere on the planet. It matters.

When things go right they are amazing.

When things go a little sideways, the day can get really long.

Yesterday was one of those days. Yesterday was one of “THOSE” days.

It was supposed to be a disturbingly long day any way. I knew work was going to run from 3 am until some time between 7:30 and 9:30. I knew. I also knew that there were chunks of time built into that mess that I should have had an hour or more a couple times to get up and walk away from my computer. A couple hours to go outside. A couple hours to take a bath. A couple hours to cook dinner and eat.

The joys of working in IT.

The joys of working in IT with RA… I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be really hard. Even with the walk away time built in, I knew it would be a long day.

And then crap happens.

Webex meetings drag because people only have to do one or two of the ten things you have to do that day. They chat. They want to just discuss how their chunk went.

Webex meetings run into the next other person webex meeting into the next webex meeting.

The “easy” chunk goes completely sideways and what should have taken you 30 minutes takes over three hours running into the next thing you have to do and you have to (at the point when you are starting to get so tired that you doubt yourself) convince someone else that you’re NOT a moron and that you know how to log into a server and what you are supposed to do when you do log into the server to start an application.

I was exhausted by the time the last T was crossed and the last I was dotted at 7:30 last night. I was thrilled we got done in just over half our 4 hour window. But I was too exhausted to care.

You know you have gone way past the point where you should have taken a break when your 27 year old son washing the dishes and making dinner makes you take ten minutes to hide in the bathroom to cry.

You know you pushed too hard leading up to the weekend when being told how you are not dedicated enough to making someone else money despite busting your ass to do it and you don’t get to play any more makes you think that is it is their loss and you probably are better off without the stress. I can find better places to help other people if I’m not good enough for you.

Exhaustion (mental even more than physical) shows you what matters.

And this morning I have to work again.

This time I know it will be about 2 hours of work for me (tops) and then I can literally walk away. I can walk away and do the stuff that I have been looking forward to for a while now.

For now, I’m sitting here listening to Dominic the Donkey by Lou Monte on YouTube repeater (yeah, it’s one of THOSE days) drinking coffee and watching the dogs be dogs. Me time matters so much. This weekend has proven more than I can say just how important me time is to sanity.

Love and Light
April
11/17/2019