Yeah, me either. It just sort of happened. It’s funny how that happens to the best of us. You stop and blink and holy crap there you are, a figment in your own vivid imagination.
One day you are 18 and reasonably healthy for the most part. Then you blink and you are looking down the waterslide into the darkness of 50. Where did the years go?
I’ve learned a lot over the last few decades. One is that you can’t take it for granted that you will always be healthy. Another is that you can’t take it for granted that there will always be time next week to make up for the time you lost this week. Both of these things have been proven time and again to not quite be the case.
So here I am, over half way through my journey trying to figure out when I’m going to hit middle age. I’m pretty sure I’ve hit it at a dead run and blew past it like it wasn’t even there. I’ve started to find the benches that mark my path and to take the time to sit back and relax a little and enjoy the scenery. Sometimes it is peaceful. Sometimes it is a hell of a show. It is usually what I need when I need it.
I’ve stopped trying to make people like me. I won’t say that I enjoy it when people make fun of me (and believe me, even at nearly 50 people still make fun of me and it still hurts) but I will say that I really just don’t care any more.
I try to get more healthy or to at least stay as healthy as I am (or as I can) physically and mentally.
I try to meet myself where I am and to cope with life as I now know it.
I try to live up to the fact that I’m my kid’s hero.
I try to help people to cope with what they have to cope with because to a great degree I’ve coped with a lot of the same crap. It makes me sad to know that many of the people who are in my world have gotten diagnosed with RA since the point where they came into my world. And, while I don’t like knowing that I can answer questions for people who are getting their diagnosis it makes me humble and proud that I can answer them and that I can help them on their journey.
You have landed here for many reasons.
Why you have come is irrelevant. THAT you have come means maybe I can help you just a little too. Take with you what you need. Leave me what you will. You really can’t have too much support and if I can be that for you then I’m glad I could help.