Not Quite So Far Into Remission

So, here I sit.  Austensibly, I’m working.  Scripts are running.  I’m keeping an eye on what is running.  I’m getting ready for a move of the current enviornment to the almost latest and not exactly greatest technology that will get us by until a year or so from now.  Knock on wood.
I smell like Tiger Balm.
I’m thinking… contemplating… the fact that I’m probably going to be adjusting my MTX back up from .8 to 1 cc starting next injection.  I’ve been feeling my fingers and toes starting to ache and be stiff (okay, okay, technically “starting” might be a bit of a stretch) more and more.  I’ve been wearing Tiger Balm under my fingerless gloves… I don’t see any extra lumps and bumps.. but I’m feeling like I’m using my fingers and toes more gingerly than I have been of late.  So… I think going back up a little on the meds (as the doctor suggested I might) is my next step.  Probably should call the doctor and let her in on it… but… it is what it is.
I’m kind of sad thinking that I’m not doing any better than I am right now.  I’m going to put myself through some less than exciting loops and jumps tomorrow at soccer practice.  I will probably regret it after Saturday’s game but it’s all wonderful fun and that is a good trade off.
I’m viewing the resent events with mixed feelings.  I have liked the idea of not having to take as much of the chemo poison every week, but I like not aching even more.  So, we adjust. I guess I won’t be finding my hair growing back any time soon.  So, I keep a few bobby pins so I can use them (one at at time) to hold my thimble sized bun… and my BUffs… and I keep thinking… and keep dealing with the brain fog/chemo brain.
The adventure… continues…

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