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Those Days When You Just Want to Curl Up And Cry

Yesterday was one of those days that I would have loved to simply have either been able to go crawl back into bed and forget ever happened or to at least have been able to do it over with different … Continue reading

Well This Sucks (on no plastic straws)

I watched a video this morning on the banning of plastic straws and its impact on the disabled community.

I’m all for saving the planet.  I’m all for saving the animals that are impacted when plastic straws (plastic lots of things) enter the water and the wilds.

But at what cost?

I’m ‘lucky’ (tongue in cheek sometimes).  I’m able to buy alternative straws (forever straws… my wicked cool metal foldy straw is supposed to be coming in November… knock on wood) and to use them.  But there are many people who can’t invest that kind of money in a straw.  There are a lot of people who require a straw that bends (haven’t seen a forever straw that is bendy yet).  There are a crap ton (a metric crap ton to be more exact) of people like me, who look at the straws in the older dispensers that are not wrapped and that lord only knows who has touched or coughed in on and mentally freak because either they have issues in their brains with germs or they have compromised immune systems and have issues in the rest of their body with germs.

The report had it’s due diligence done.  People went out and asked companies in the cities where straws are already banned if there were straws available to people who can’t bring a cup to their lips because they don’t have the use of their hands and arms to do so.  The people wanting their freedom to live the lives they have in the most independent way possible sometimes need the simpler things just to be able to be functional.  There were many companies that didn’t even have straws available to be used by the people who NEED them.

I don’t NEED a straw.  Sometimes it is nice to have a straw but it isn’t something that I need.  If I do want a straw, I do want one that is either within my control to clean or that is wrapped.  I don’t want the people who go to the bathroom and leave without washing their hands and who cough into their fists and then wipe their nose with their hands touching my naked straw (or silverware or whatever).  And don’t get me started on people who grab your glass by putting their fingers into the glass when they hand it to you at the fast food places.

People who are differently abled have the right to their independence and the people who provide goods and services have a legal responsibility to provide them with reasonable alternatives when requested as necessary.

It sucks enough to NEED to need the extra assistance.  Adding to the troubles that people with disabilities have by taking away their ability to interact with what they need to survive isn’t the answer.

 

Love and Light
April
8/13/18

 

Gallery

When the Aloneness is Overwhelming

Last night’s coffee for breakfast.  The windows are wide open because the nights are cooler for a bit.  The cat is a bit on the demanding side but the purrs are nice. Yesterday’s training run was 9 miles to the … Continue reading

Gallery

The Quiet of Early Morning

This gallery contains 2 photos.

It’s just before dawn.  Puppy doodle and I are sitting on the porch by Tiki Torch light listening to the crickets and locusts singing their songs.  It’s beautiful music… The rain last night did nothing for the humidity and I’m … Continue reading

Realizing how far you have come

I refuse to tell people that this is what to do… or this is what will work for everyone… because that is a bunch of hooey. Everyone knows that nothing works for everyone and what works for one person simply can not work for others.  It irritates me when other people do it.  I won’t.

That said… this is where I am this morning…

This morning I hit what my PCP suggests ought to be my goal weight. That means I’m about 15 pounds from my actual goal weight.  THAT means I, very soon, need to start going to the stupid Weight Watchers meetings so I can hit goal there and become lifetime.  I still resent the hell out of that little ploy, but it is what it is.  Yay Nestle…

In celebration I drank a cup of coffee with creamer as a morning treat.

Then I got ready for my run.

I started playing Pokemon Go as a way to see if I can do something distracting during my run.  Hatching eggs.  Unfortunately, the app calculates really badly… I can run 2.5 miles and not QUITE accumulate 1k distance in egg hatching.  But steps is steps and they eventually hatch.  I thought maybe that my fanny pack would count the distance better than my flip belt…  Turns out it didn’t… but… in the process… I had to put my fanny pack on.  This is the utility belt I had always used in races.  This is the utility belt I used before I started on my little weight loss adventure… and my little running adventure.  It fit.  The way the strap was… it fit… 6 months ago… it fit.

This morning when I put it on, this is what I found…. When I strapped around me and held the pack side… I could see my feet between my stomach and the bag.

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When I let go of it this is what happened!!!

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I have officially lost enough weight that my fanny pack needed to be VERY much tightened.  I was, suffice it to say, not only SHOCKED, but very pleasantly surprised.

Today, I adjusted my run/walk/run time so that I ran 30 seconds and walked 45 seconds… I did 2.37 miles this morning in just under 30 minutes.

It got me thinking…

When I first started running (2008… 2009… ish time frame) it was right before I was diagnosed with RA.  RIGHT before… I was doing pretty well… but I was no where near as quick or consistent as I am now.

My first several ‘runs’ I did in the middle of the darkness in the morning around our cul de sac.  I would leave our driveway, jog to the next driveway… make it to the end of the street… walk the rest of the way… and fall down into the yard.  I started adding a little distance.  I would go to the next driveway plus one sidewalk square.  Sometimes the next dandelion.  I worked my way using the First Day to 5K pod cast.

I eventually worked my way up to being able to finish about a mile and a half… run walk running… but I was doing it at about a 16 minute mile.

I finished my first half marathon two months after I was diagnosed with raging RA… 37 joints involved… inflammation everywhere…. My hips screamed the last mile.  I almost couldn’t make it into the house from the attached garage.

When I finished my first Disney half marathon 4 years later, I managed to stay ahead of the balloon ladies but not by much.  I half way trained.  My RA was kind of mostly controlled but I had just started on Orencia.  I was still on MTX.

I was determined to finish Disney…. and it was a personal best time for me.  It wasn’t a great time, but I finished it.

I was 218 pounds when we moved to Cleveland.

I refused to do the math on what that meant BMI wise.  I didn’t want to know.

That was 4 years ago.

February I started back walking very fast to train for Disney.

Then I read that for every 10 pounds weight loss you can shave off 20 seconds per minute off of your run time.  I was determined to get to a 14 minute mile so I could half way comfortably finish ahead of the balloon ladies and still get my picture taken coming out of Cinderella’s castle and maybe even with Goofy on the golf course.

So after my PCP told me that WW is the silver bullet and that I should only EVER eat 0 point foods, I got pissed and joined.  I was determined to make it work.

I needed to shave my time.

I needed to get healthier and stronger so I can help Bear as much as I can through everything that is to come. I need to be as strong as I can possibly be.  I need to be healthy enough to support him enough through everything.  It matters.

And here I am at 165 pounds… 15 pounds short of MY 150 pound goal…

The walmart leggings I started out running in stay MOSTLY up but slide down a few times during a 2 to 3 mile run.

People at work who haven’t seen me in a while have started to comment on how much weight I’ve lost.  I kind of look at that sort of in a hard way… I didn’t really think of how heavy I was.  I didn’t think about how I looked to other people.  I didn’t think… Now I think.

I’m down 4 pants sizes.  I’m running in between a medium and large pair of running leggings.

I don’t hurt as bad as I did before.  I don’t hurt as badly when I am nearly to infusion day.  My hands still ache some days and I still am stiff in the mornings but I feel less bad (does less badly equate to better?  I’m not sure).

And I’m starting to think of myself as a runner.

But it’s not all sunshine and roses in my own head.

Men have started to notice me… started to flirt with me.  There was a guy in Pittsburgh when Bear and I were waiting on the Gateway Clipper who bought pop corn and brought it over so I could help him feed the ducks.  It never dawned on me until Bear pointed it out later that he was flirting.  People rarely ever talk to me so flirting isn’t something that ever crosses my mind. My first thought was… I want very much to go back to being invisible and I should stop trying to lose weight.

But I like feeling better.  I like thinking that I might not need to be on some of the “you’re too heavy” drugs that I’ve been on for years.  High BP meds… cholesterol drugs…

So… yeah… it’s been very much a thinking kind of day… a day of how far I’ve come over the years.

Running isn’t for everyone with RA.  Knee damage, ankle damage, feet and toes… it seriously curtails what you can do with working out… but moving is a good thing and I’m convinced that weight watchers (much as I STILL hate trying to find the logic in stuff) and running have made an incredible difference and I know that I really really don’t want to go back to having a BMI of 36.  Goal for me is now a normal BMI… and making sure I’m around to help when Bear needs my help.

And… of course… doing races…

August … Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame 10k

October…. Towpath 10k
Pumpkin run in Akron

November… Made In America in Massillon Ohio half marathon

February…. Disney!!!

 

Love and Light

April

7/13/2018

A Buff’s Tale… July 4, 2018

What country has the 4th of July…..

<wait for it…>

ALL countries have the 4th of July!  😉
<snicker snicker snicker>

Grand Independence Day in the US.

Here’s to hoping everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday.

My name is Beatrice R Buff and I am… well… a Buff.  That’s me, high atop the Silly Woman’s head, if you really want to know… There’s a better picture at the bottom though <This particular look came from the outfitter store in Nizna South Africa… the look was bought for another who later decided she didn’t like the look after all so my Silly Woman added this look to her collection and it is one she seems to like a lot>.  If you want to learn more about me and my kind, you can find information here.  There are, naturally, other URLs in other countries because, let’s face it everyone… Buffs are everywhere.  Some of us are in Brazil, some of us are in Europe, heck I even know of some of us who are in South Africa.  We are an adventuresome  group and we love to get out and explore.

But come on now, anyway… THIS story is about me in all of my finery and all of my glory.

My tale starts years and years ago, but I will get to that later.  For now… my day.

This miserably hot and humid morning was run morning (again!).  It was 72 degrees F and it was 92% humidity.  It was the perfect morning for fulfilling one of my favorite purposes… riding high atop her head, enjoying my ride, and soaking up the sweat.

Ew, you say?

Ah, but when that is one of your purposes in life, that is just the way it is.

This morning we took a little different route.  With the miserable time she had just breathing before we started, silly woman opted to not do the hilly cul de sac but to try to stay on the more level playing field.  That means I got to see most of our favorite route but I also got to add in an extra out and back to the bigger road and an extra cul de sac we don’t usually do.We dodged a slew of puddles (there was a big rain yesterday afternoon and when the air is this super saturated with yook it just doesn’t dry so fast) but didn’t pass a single car this morning.

Silly Woman got a later start this morning.  She took a few days off from work and has been hitting the streets a little later than normal… It’s kind of nice, for a change, to be out running in the almost daylight.   There is way more to see.  And I mean really, isn’t that what adventures are all about… being able to see what is going on around you?

So this morning’s run Silly Woman started the next phase of her training.  She upped her run time (I love when she runs, there is an extra bounce to my ride) to 25 seconds with walk recovery of 45 seconds.  Granted, the walk portion was slower than usual because it was so humid and recovery after a longer run was a little harder than usual, but she still hit almost every interval and she is creeping up on the time she wants for corral placement at Disney in February.  She’s not confident that she will do it, but I have faith in her.It’s been kind of awesome to ride along with her this far and I think the rest of this adventure is going to be interesting to watch.

Truth be told, it’s kind of nice to have her enjoying the adventure enough to start taking selfies of us.  While I’ve shown up in many of my different guises over the years, I’m enjoying being immortalized on an almost daily basis.  Now if I can just get her to start wearing me in different ways.  Not that I’m complaining, but variety is kind of nice.  I’ll have to start putting a bug in her ear (and since I’m so close and there are lots of bugs, that shouldn’t actually be too hard!).

For now, let’s just say that I’m going to start telling my story and being a part of the action.  After all… being a Buff in an adventure in itself and it’s high time someone told the story!

Signing off for now!


It’s time for my bath in a baggy and hanging out on the line to dry!

B. R. Buff
7/4/2018

Boys and Girls Club of Cleveland 5k race report Cleveland Zoo June 23 2018

So, I won an entry into this 5k at work.  It was timed just right for proving to myself that I could do a decent time in summer humidity.    And it was going to be a fun run for me.

The activities were pretty awesome and one of the best things about the event was the opportunity to get a picture with the four Cleveland Indians mascots.  Ketchup, mustard, onions and slider.  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

It wasn’t a huge race.  There were about 227 people running the 5k.  It was my first 5k in… 13 or so years… and it was much smaller than my last one (race for the cure in Austin where it took 45 minutes to get to the STARTING line…

This race was a bunch of happy people out enjoying the kind of humid but it stopped raining kind of morning at the zoo.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Bear (way way far away in a light colored shirt facing this way in the picture below) was positioned perfectly to get a picture as I started.  ❤ . My own photography section!OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Here is a better picture of him, leaning on his rollator listening to whatever the guy talking was talking about.  Where I was standing I couldn’t hear much more than mumbling.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The motivational signs were awesome.  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The bear wasn’t really so sure what the silly humans were doing…. but he was up for a good show.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Given that there are a half dozen golf carts in the zoo and that the tram wasn’t running… I thought maybe this sign was a bit over kill… OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This part of the race irritated the heck out of me… The girl in the blue t-shirt and oversized headsets just went from being behind me to trotting along a short cut to being in front of me.  There was a lot of cheating in this race given the number of runners and the fact that it wasn’t going to actually gain anyone anything by cheating.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I caught up to her (and the guy in the gray) only to have them both take a short cut off course.  Really really?  Have you no integrity at all??  The lady in the purple shirt and I stayed pretty much together until after the big hill when she took off and I lost her.

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Top of the big hill (which I totally beasted I might add) was the flower bed sign.  I think it would be a pain to change every day… OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

After the hill (up and back) OH LOOK… more cheating!!! Three of them this time.  The course goes around to the left (it was an out and back so you went exactly the same way in reverse… except them.

Given that there are three medals to be had in every age group, I really hope this cheating didn’t earn them any bling… OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And there is my cheering section again…Bear… trying to get me crossing the finish line.  I did 3.31 miles per my Map My Run in 38:46 clock time.  My pace ended up being 12:26 (my time is steadily improving)OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAnd here was Francisco Lindor of the Cleveland Indians.  He was the sponsor of the race this year and he’s a really really nice kid.  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And here I am at the starting line.  The shirt… xxl (which was incredibly awesome because the packet pickup people told me there was no way I needed one that big.  THAT made my whole morning.

I finished 187 out of 227.  I wonder what my actual place would have been had the jerks not cheated.  I may have actually improved my standing if not my ultimate finish time.

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All in all a fun race.  I’m incredibly irked that so many people felt it necessary to cheat but I’m proud to say that I know that I did every step of the course and still came in at a time to be proud of.

 

Love and light
April
June 24 2018

Weight Watchers… Lifetime… the reality

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Okay… I’m trying.  I’m REALLY trying.  I have trouble gagging down the Kool-Aid, but I’m trying.  I still have trouble wrapping my head around an 8 oz glass of skim milk being 3 points but a quart of fat free greek yogurt is… none… but… that’s because I know I’m over thinking everything.

NOT that I’m not having success.  I’m down 32 pounds.  This morning I put on the belt that I bought in Amarillo right after we moved there in 2000.  There was an amazing western wear store there and I fell in love with the belt… and I have been dragging it around for years and I never dreamed I would ever be able to wear it again… and this morning I have it on.

But…

I went to my PCP on Tuesday.  She is THRILLED with my weight loss.  Thinks that I should always try to consume 750 calories a day and burn 2500 calories those same days because… well, duh… that burns fat.

It’s not sustainable

but that’s okay because f$&* you that’s why… LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE.

Same logic as… you should really only EVER eat the 0 point foods because obviously no one will ever want to eat… beef… pork… a 1″ square of brownie… and hey… at some point I will just lose it and go completely off the rains.

Except now that I’m only fat and not OBESE, she thinks I need to completely stop at 160 – 165 pounds.  Stop weight watchers.  Stop losing. Just… stop.

I’m not happy with that solution and I am not going to follow her edict.  MY goal is to hit what WW actually says is roughly a healthy weight for me and try to maintain that.

That said…

I know that if I reach goal (her mythical 160 to 165 number) I can become lifetime.  The magical lifetimeness of WW.  Everyone say OOOOOO…. Everyone say AHHHHH.

Yeah, whatever.

Again.  My trouble is… I don’t really do sheeple very well.  I spend a lot of time caught up in my own head.  I’m pretty sure that is part of my Aspie-ness that isn’t a thing any more but that doesn’t change who I am.

So I did some digging.

You can never ever ever ever ever ever ever get to lifetime as long as you’re online only.  HAHAHAHAHA.  Silly goose, wouldn’t want someone playing the system… duh… no no no no no.  You have to get within 5 pounds on online only and then pay $40 a month to get to goal… then $40 a month for the 6 or so (yeah… or 8 or 10 or whatever… hee hee hee) weeks that you have to maintain between 2 pounds over and 2 pounds under your mythical magical number.  Three pounds under? HAHAHAHAHAH… reset your goal weight… reset your 6 weeks… But I’m ASSURED that at that point it is NOT all about the money.

Okay, whatever

Don’t think

BEEEE the sheep.

Maybe I can be a sheep.  Maybe I can be a good little sheep for a couple of months.

Went to talk to the leader of the chapter we have at work yesterday.  Got her version of the scoop.

Yes, you HAVE to lose your last 5 pounds in meetings (kaching).  Yes, you have to maintain 2 pounds over or under for 6 consecutive weeks (kaching).  Then you can be lifetime and if you want you can then continue to lose.  As long as you don’t exceed your goal weight by more than 2 pounds at any weigh in in any month for the rest of your life… you can stay free (and get e-tools and get to go to the damn meetings I don’t want to go to anyway but I will have to once a month so THEY can say I am maintaining my magical mythical numbers.

OH… but if you do continue to lose… they won’t charge you for that.  BUT… They will STRONGLY SUGGEST (read harp at you until you do??? ) that you lower your goal weight to exactly where you are at any given point in time.

Everyone say oooo
everyone say ahhh

One of the women who was in the meeting to be weighed has been forking out $40 a month for seven years and isn’t anywhere near goal.  She’s been gaining and losing the same 20 pounds for 7 years.  SEVEN YEARS… without ever getting near to goal.

I can’t imagine having to go sit through meetings once a week for SEVEN YEARS and paying $40 a month for the privilege.

And, stupid me… I went hunting.  I found on our Library’s digital magazine page the Australian Weight Watchers magazine.  There are, obviously differences… like kilos instead of pounds and other things that are specific to Australia.  But one of the magazines has an article that talks about keeping the weight off and being lifetime and in maintenance.

I was stunned by the statistics that are in that magazine.

of over 900 lifetime members they surveyed (only 900 people… there are MILLIONS on WW… they could find 900 woo hoo people to help with the survey??? ) 94% remain BELOW THEIR INITIAL WEIGHT after one year.  NOT at goal.  Not kept the weight off.  Below their initial weight.  One year.  90% at two years.  75% at 5 years.

But this is a lifestyle, not a diet.

Another study of 2886 members, shows 87% maintaining a 10% weight loss at 5 years and 10 years.  I’ve already lost more than 10% of my original weight.  I will have lost roughly 25% by the time I reach what I would like to be my goal weight.

And I’m sitting here terrified about my 6 week dealy to get to “you don’t have to fork over a bunch of money any more”.

When I am getting close to infusion day I have inflammation.
Inflammation adds weight.  Maybe not a lot, but it adds weight.
I know that to hit my race in February, I’m going to have to go at least one month, maybe 2 (again) at 5 weeks between infusions instead of 4.  That means for TWO weeks… two weigh ins… I will have to pretty much starve for the couple days before my weigh in to not be 2.5 pounds over and then eat everything not nailed down by the next weigh in so I’m not freaking 2.5 pounds under.

But I over think things

I should just blindly sheeple to the Kool-aid trough.

I really enjoy how I’m feeling and I’m completely thrilled that forking out a crap ton of money was incentive enough to hold my own feet to the fire to do this.  I’m even more thrilled that I’ve actually shaved about a minute off of my per mile time while I’m out running in the mornings (and that I can actually go running in the mornings).

But…
I honestly wish I had been told all of the details before I started.  Or maybe I wish I had dug far enough into this when I started instead of just jumping in head first after I got pissed at my PCP.

Happy Thursday
love and light
April

6/14/2018

It’s NOT Okay

It’s not okay… okay?  It’s just FREAKING not.

I’m a little edgy this week, I’ll give you that. Today I go see my PCP and I haven’t seen her since I got pissed and started Weight Watchers.  I’m down but probably not down as much as she will want and she might just get an ear full on how… you know… Sunday when I did just under 13 miles (at least per my fitbit… map my run thinks it’s more… ) I burned almost twice as many calories as I consumed (Yay 23 points… YAY 752 calories intake…. WOOOHOOO… not… ) and how I’m not certain that this is a sustainable “life style choice” for the long haul.

I’m a little stressed.

So yesterday’s reaction to a situation might be a little skewed.  I didn’t THINK it was, but by the comments… and comments to comments… I’m not so certain any more.

I run.

And I’m actually enjoying running.

I’m down 30 pounds.  I’m kind of enjoying how that feels too.

I run in leggings. I wear either a tank, a technical t-shirt or a technical long sleeved shirt.  Running get up tends to not flap in the breeze, it usually fits more on the tighter side.  That’s just the way running stuff is.

I have a running skirt that I’ve been really wanting to try out… but I’m not sure how I will feel about running in it any more… not after yesterday.

Yesterday I went for a walk in Public Square at lunch time.  I wanted to hit my step goal and that was probably the best way to do it.

As I was walking through, a woman who was out for her lunch time run came past me through the park.  She was wearing all black.  She had leggings to her ankles.  She had a long sleeved technical shirt.  She had headsets.  She was going at a dead run.  I wanted to be her so badly.

A herd of piggies (you know the male chauvinist kind) found it necessary to engage in somewhat questionable cat calling.  It wasn’t for her benefit.  It wasn’t just a whistle.  It was rude.

“Look at them titties bounce”
“Man, that is one fine tight little ass”

I guess maybe I over reacted.

I suppose in the “Merca” we live in today that is perfectly acceptable.

I mean there were only about 30 kids under the age of 8 in the park for the lunch time fun that Cleveland has scheduled this summer.  It’s not like they are of an impressionable age, right?

I posted on facebook.  I was really pissed about the piggies.  It’s NOT alright to treat someone’s daughter/sister/mother this way.  It’s just not.

And I got some people (more, I’ll admit, amongst my running group than ‘regular’ facebook) that were as pissed as I was.  When you hear stuff like that, it kind of strikes home that you are not always as safe as you would like to think you are when you are out running in a public place in broad daylight with your headsets on.

There aren’t a lot of people around when I run so I’m not apt to hear the comments.  But there aren’t a lot of people around when I run… so… yeah.

One woman agreed with me and pointed out (RIGHTLY SO) that in today’s political environment, this kind of talk is not only condoned, it gets you elected president.  At which point it was pointed out that… you KNOW… Billy did bad things so it’s perfectly reasonable that it’s okay to say you could grab them by the <you know the rest> and to treat them like less than second class citizens.

Someone from work (who is at Disney as we speak… I’m so jealous) pointed out that… at Disney… there are women who are walking around with furry nether regions sticking out and with shirts cut low enough that nipples are becoming visible (and not during breast feeding) and if it were him with his junk dangling out of his shorts he would be arrested.  He’s right.  There is a HUGE double standard.

It was pointed out to him that body shaming is never acceptable when he said that he and his wife explained to their LITTLE GIRLS (read… I think maybe 6 and 8) that it’s not a good thing to have your nether regions on display so EVERYONE (including the CTV cameras that live stream Main Street USA) can see if they are natural blondes or not.  We aren’t talking about beach attire here.  We aren’t talking about being AT the beach.  Hello…

People are HORRIBLY offended at the THOUGHT of someone who is trans using the same bathroom as they are using… that someone might SEE something… something on their DAUGHTERS or wives… that they shouldn’t see.  Hell, they don’t have to worry about perverts pretending to be trans to sneak in to bathrooms to catch a glimpse… all they have to do is walk through a public place and wait.  It will come to the perverts, they don’t have to seek it out.

It’s a double standard.

Monkey Butt thinks I’m a freak of a feminist… and I guess I’m a freak in general so why not as a feminist.  I don’t think men and women should be treated differently.  I think if a man is arrested for his dangly bits being on public display, then maybe women should have the same experience.  That apparently makes me unpopular.  Women should be allowed to wear whatever they feel comfortable in wherever they feel comfortable wearing it (or… you know… not wearing it) irrespective of location and audience.  I think, if women have chairs and couches in the lady’s room… that men should have them too.  I think having locks on every freaking lady’s room door at work (all… every single one) but none on the men’s room doors is also somewhat hypocritical.

And I’m sitting here thinking… you know… I know I can get away with (in my head) wearing things that I haven’t worn in YEARS… shorts for example… leggings… shirts that aren’t as huge as I can find to hide in…

I know I can wear things that are cuter or that fit better.

But if it means that piggies are going to find it acceptable to make comments… am I really ready for those head games?

I know, I know… piggies will be piggies… and piggies are everywhere.

But that doesn’t make it okay.

 

Love and Light
April
6/12/18

Gallery

Sit with me a minute

Its a cool June morning and I should be off on my walk/run to add miles to the gym. I should try for 13 miles today. The rain isn’t that hard and I won’t melt… But it’s so nice here … Continue reading