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Believe

There comes a time when everyone stops believing in something… or some things. There are things in which you just have to believe, no matter what. We went to Columbus Zoo to see their WildLights. It’s a thing we have … Continue reading

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When you realize just how much you over extended yourself

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Me time matters more than you can believe. Not us time. Not you time. Me time. Being able to take even just ten or fifteen minutes to not have to be “on” for anyone else anywhere on the planet. It … Continue reading

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When you finally stop giving a d@*& what people think

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So, I figure I will get some (a lot) of grief for the picture I added to the post. It’s almost Halloween. I can hear the words running through people’s heads. Buying into the commercialism Not taking holidays in order … Continue reading

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Akron Great Pumpkin Run Review… Just my race

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Yesterday was the Great Pumpkin Run in Akron. I have to say that, despite the fact that I absolutely hate the last (very stupidly pinched) half mile… it is one of my favorite local races. That said, yesterday’s was particularly … Continue reading

RA uses a weighted blanket

So, I had done quite a bit of research on weighted blankets. I toyed with the idea, for a while, or trying to make my own… but… yeah… maybe not so much.

Yesterday I spent most of the day trying to figure out how to cope with stress… anxiety… life… and I realized that I had read in the past about weighted blankets and how they can help in life.

I don’t know how much store I put in what articles say… but… I also know that my niece has one and loves it but is thinking she might be not quite heavy enough… and that she wants a heavier one. My sister is thinking about buying one. That speaks way more than simply googling it all up.

There are many studies that people with RA hurt more when they don’t sleep well and that when they hurt they don’t sleep well so they hurt when they don’t sleep well. It’s an ugly circle. It’s also something that I can attest to personally.

So… last night I bought my first weighted blanket. And last night I used my first weighted blanket.

It’s different. First night… It’s not good… It’s not bad… It’s different. I didn’t sleep completely well. It was warmer than I thought it would be. The 15 pounds left me feeling like I had… well… lifted weights. It felt good but it was heavier than I thought it would be. I know that it will feel better and better. I know that to such a degree that I’m going to figure out a way to buy one that is lighter to use as a shawl when I need it with me.

I think I’m going to need it with me.

I think it will help when my hands ache. And my hands ache… often as not.

Weighted blankets are supposed to help with anxiety. I think that is going to be a big thing for me coming too.

I think this will start to be a saga.

AprilJoy

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Finding the right doctor.

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Stress can really make you hurt a lot. It can trigger a low level (or more) flare that just makes you feel like crap. Bear has been not feeling great recently and he’s pushing way way too hard and I … Continue reading

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Morning Coffee August 22, 2019

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Coffee time. It’s rainy and dark enough that I got to see Tower City Center with its lights on. I’m trying hard to find myself again. Sometimes I realize how lost I am… How lost I’m likely to be for … Continue reading

On NOT being able to see the doctor…

So… Wednesday is infusion day again. I’m SO looking forward to being on the receiving end again. I can always tell when I’m getting close. My hands ache… my feet ache… I’m physically exhausted. There are months when right before infusion it is all I can do to stay awake at work. And if we happen to have to drive on the less than stellar roads… there are times I toy with how much it would add time to the drive if I opted to get out and walk. Bear thinks I’m finding fault with his driving. I’m not. I know that it is my body being all pissed at me.

Some people figure that, since I’m down 50 pounds, I shouldn’t feel as shitty when it is infusion time.

Wrong

I don’t hurt as bad when I do races (depending on where it is in my infusion ‘that time of the month’… ironic that I look forward to that time of the month since I had my hysterectomy… when I race). My hips don’t scream. My knees either. I’ve actually been toying with trying to run in my hobbit feet again since I am less heavy. But when the Orencia is wearing off… I still feel it.

And, yes, I know I’m way more crabby… bitchy… short tempered… when I’m nearing infusion day. I’m way less apt to shrug off the BS. I have gotten better about not saying what’s running through my brain… but it is way way more apt to be running through my brain now.

But what has really started to get to me… Cleveland Clinic has decided that I no longer ‘have to’ (read get to) see my doctor’s physician’s assistant every time I have an infusion.

Before, I HAD to see her or I couldn’t get my infusion. Sometimes that was a bit problematic (particularly because they are ALWAYS short staffed and they don’t usually have coverage for vacations) when my 4 weeks ended up landing on when someone was out of the office. I should be relieved that I don’t have to work around her schedule. But… now I can only see the PA once a quarter and my actual doctor once a year.

I am thinking there might be some interesting middle ground here. I mean… on one hand I don’t have to worry about my appointments coinciding with vacations. But I do have to worry about the fact that now they have scheduled my PA and my Dr to be at three other locations that they didn’t used to cover. That means that if I happen to actually need to see someone, my best shot is likely to be holding my fingers up to my phone camera so someone in a web-ex can say…hm… yep… you have fingers.

The “second best hospital in the country” has a funny way of showing that patients matter a tenth as much as $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Yeah… I realize that I’m bitchy. See above… my hands hurt enough today that they are making my stomach feel crappy.

Sigh

Love and Light
April
July 29, 2019

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Yes, Three Dogs

Dogs are like potato chips… you can’t have just one? Not exactly but still… eh… we have had just one and it was perfect at the time. My heart aches that she isn’t still here corporeally. Yes, she is here. … Continue reading

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Mornings…

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So, this morning started our new, new normal (for now). Friday, Bear was walking the mall and found the pet store. It’s kind of an iffy, shady pet store, but it’s a pet store. The store has been there for … Continue reading