Good Stress

Stress is stress, even good stress (the stress of having your little boy back where you can hug him for example) is still stress.

I’m sitting here earlyish (Technically way too late for me to be sitting here writing, but I’ve been kind of resting when I need to be resting) with the windows wide open. Stephen King is speaking to me from the Bachman Book “Roadwork” through the computer speakers. The cat is stalking the birds and squirrels through the open window. Squirrel girl is sleeping quietly on the floor a few feet away. Monkey Butt is snoring softly in the living room (he never did sleep in his room). It’s Butler Fair day.

I’m wrapped in my wool hooded shawl and my fingerless gloves warming my fingers. It’s 54 degrees and the damp chill is making my fingers ache.
It’s been a wonderful week. I’ve got pictures, and hugs, and memories of all of us together to hold me through the next few months until my little boy comes back to visit again. Maybe next time he will bring his partner with him.

In a couple days I go back to worrying and touching base with him every couple days, if not every day. I worry about the dough machine eating parts of him. I worry about him taking his pills or not taking his pills. I worry about narrow minded people jumping him when he walks in the dark. I’m the mom. I worry.

It has been an amazingly wonderful week. Peaceful if a little busy and planned. And I’m feeling it. I’ve slept way more than I would like to have slept. I’ve taken migraine pills for the first time in a few months. I’ve taken more achey breaky pills than I like and I’ve been using my Voltaren Gel a little more like hand cream (liberally) than like achey cream.

I’m also running (again) on approaching 5 weeks on my 4 week infusions. I’m thinking that I’m probably going to keep up the five weeks to save a little on bills towards the end of the year… and because there is every chance that I’m going to be in Brazil for week four next time. It seems like there is always something that comes up when I’m supposed to get my infusion. Something that is more important and that gets in the way. Last time it was Ecuador. This time it was Adam. Next time it will be Brazil. I think as long as I keep being able to stave off the aches with a couple Napproxin and some Voltaren, I will not push too much to keep the four week schedule that it’s supposed to be.

This week I have realized that “they” are right (whoever they are) about stress being stress and good stress having an impact on your body the same as bad stress does. By the end of the day (and they have been fun and wonderful days) my body reminds me kind of loudly that I shouldn’t forget that I have RA and I need to save some spoons. I’ve been borrowing on spoons for the next couple weeks. I’m going to need to catch up. And I will.

It’s been so much worth taking the extra naps and sleeping in past when I’m usually up writing. I’ve been remembering that sometimes there are more important things to take the time to do other than just keeping on keeping on.

And Sunday morning is coming way too fast.