Tag Archives: life

Happy New Year… 2025

New Year… yep. New you? Eh, not so much. BUT… goal for the year… post (try to post?) at least once a week without going postal on anything. Hey… it’s a goal.

So…

It’s Thursday January 2, 2025. I have two, count em two, percolators of coffee on the stove. I’m midway through my second week in a row on pager duty and I know it will be THAT kind of day. The dogs are all sitting in my office looking at me like I am a horrible person because it is food time in 20 min and I’m not doing food yet. I’m pretty sure they will survive the 20 min until it is time.

Candles lit sending positive energy out into the world.

Yesterday we celebrated New Year’s Day with an early trip to the ER. The little one (okay… 30 years old, but the youngest and the shortest so… little one) finally caved and went to find out what the flank pain in their side was. Turns out that 2 weeks doesn’t necessarily make it a kidney stone passing even if that is what the pain felt like. CT scan returned that it is a very nasty UTI. I didn’t even know that you could see a UTI on a CT scan and the doctor said it is kind of a nasty one. Flank pain and shoulder pain both attributable to that infection. Call in a script to Walgreens… who’s pharmacy is, naturally, closed on New Year’s Day… so we will be picking that up when the pharmacy opens this morning.

Got home, got coffee, put Kielbasa in the crock pot with sauerkraut (you know… for the superstitious good luck deal for 2025.

Put 4 trays of eggs (from “A” dumpster from a couple days ago) and 1 tray of banana mango fruit puree from the pouch things from the dollar place about the same time in the freeze dryer. That is drying nicely.

And, speaking of dumpster land… who knew that “A” is closed on New Years Day? So… trip 1 there was early afternoon. Met a really nice couple(probably in their late 20s early 30s) who had the same idea I did… daylight at the dumpster instead of o-dark-thirty. The guy AT the dumpster and I started talking. He does mostly stores about 25 miles away but he was at his partner’s family’s house and figured he would see what our store had. Had a delightful chat about dumpsters and rescuing perfectly good produce and sometimes getting lucky with meat. His partner was taking his filled boxes from the dumpster to their car. He was headed to fill some of his favorite little free food pantries with clementines, potatoes, and onions. He was nice enough to leave me with the chicken (that I admitted I would take home and cook up with veggies and rice for the doggos).

Young one from the ER visit found their results in MyChart and kind of panicked. Ironically, we need to start saving lemon juice (guy from the dumpster trip clued me in to juice the lemons and freeze the juice in ice cube trays to use later) to help dissolve the kidney stones. Yes, little brother… the cranberry pills too… but washing the cranberry pills down with lemonade can’t hurt. I knew there had still been several bags of lemons in the dumpster when I was there in the afternoon…. and it wasn’t TOO too cold that they would have frozen solid yet… so (on our way back from getting Sprite… we are now also limiting our intake of caffeine and cola) we swung by “A” again.

Low and behold… there was another car there again. Popular freaking place!!! This time I had a very nice chat with an older man who comes to get produce for he and his wife. I loved talking to him. He accent was magical! He had a grabber (but a less effective one) and a big metal hook to drag things closer. He asked what I was looking for and he gave me one of his bags of lemons. He, apparently, never tried jumping INTO the dumpster… kind of was shocked when I did… but in return for his generosity of the lemons, I helped him rescue a boat load of navel oranges, onions and some clementines.

Talking to the kids on the way back home… Eldest told me I had just realized how much competition I have in the dumpster deal. I knew that there were times when others had beaten me to anything, at least there. I may have to rethink my routine of waiting until WAY early in the morning and try staying awake long enough to make my run in the evening… at least there.

It is sobering to realize how many people either…1. rely on what stores can’t be bothered to donate to make their own ends meet or 2. rely on someone like the younger couple to stock little free food pantries with things that stores can’t be bothered to donate. Their are laws in place that say that you can’t be held liable for something that might accidentally go sideways if you donate to charities… but stores just can’t be bothered…

So… here I am… dogs now fed. Coffee procured. Laundry half way done.

Gas (at my favorite convenience store) $3.25
Gas (where we end up getting it) $2.58
Eggs $5.99
Milk $2.99
Sugar (Domino’s 4 pounds) $4.99
Flour (store brand 5 pounds) $2.69

Gallery

Amazing People

This gallery contains 1 photos.

When I go anywhere with my eldest, I often times end up in the most amazing conversations with the most epic people. Last night was no exception. We went to Walmart. Needed milk (making yogurt today and probably going to … Continue reading

But I Caaaaaaaan’t

I’ve been haunting a lot of websites lately trying to figure out 1. just how weird I am and 2. how to get to be a better me. I guess maybe that makes me even weirder but hey.

I’ve been reading a lot about can’t.

And I’ve been getting irritated.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”  ~Albert Einstein

Girls can’t

Boys can’t

fat people can’t

skinny people can’t

people with RA can’t

people over can’t

I heard a lot when I was growing up all of the things that I was told I can’t.  I worked really hard to prove out that some of those were wrong.  Some stick in the back of my head and I fight the words EVERY SINGLE DAY.

There are a lot of things I know I can’t do.  I can’t “win” a half marathon (marathon) but that is because I never loved running when I was in a position to train that hard for it.  I suppose if I really REALLY trained now, in several years I might actually have a shot at at least winning my age group. I’m not sure if I care that much, and that is on ME.  It isn’t that I can’t.  It’s that I won’t… that I choose not to.

I can’t do a full marathon.  NOT because I can’t (believe me I have been thinking very seriously about training for one… and maybe some day) but because I can’t justify in my head putting in that much work to git-er-done.  I am not incapable.  I choose to not put my effort there. For now.

I got all caught up in my head that I couldn’t lose weight.  I resented being told by the doctor that WW was the magic bullet and that all I needed to do was follow their sheeple and I would magically be perfect. “THE PLAN” works.  It completely works if you work the plan.  I just went out and bought (thank you for the Salvation Army 50% off clothes sale for Memorial Day) pants that are 2 sizes smaller than I have worn in YEARS and they fit (some actually are already baggy).  It works.  I’m kind of scared that when I reach goal that I won’t be able to maintain because the math really doesn’t work in my head still.  Anyone can lose weight if they are running 2 – 10 miles a day and eating 900 calories.  The trick is to be able to maintain a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle.  I’m trying to learn.

I thought, I can’t.  But I have, I am.

I was registered for a half marathon when I was diagnosed with RA. I immediately went out and googled stuff (duh… and DOH) and what I read suggested that I can’t do half marathons (or 10ks or whatever).  My rheumy suggested that I probably ought not (at least then) run.  I was not controlled in my disease.  I am still only marginally controlled… If I insisted on this, I should train to walk very fast.  So I did.

Only a couple months after diagnosis, and just a month (maybe 6 weeks) after starting methotrexate, I finished my first half.  I almost quit.  Thanks to Monkey Butt walking out to walk me in I didn’t.  But I almost did.  My hips were screaming about an 18 on a scale of 1 to 10 and it was all I could do to move.  But I was stubborn and I was determined and I did it.

And I did it again.

And again.

This morning I have been reading.

One thing I read was the Cleveland Marathon Facebook page and I realized that my PR was even better than it should have been because the course was .18 miles longer than it was supposed to be (so I ‘ran’ 13.28 instead of 13.1 and I still shaved 19 minutes off my time).  That was surprising.  People are SOOOOO upset because there is a decent sized hill in about the middle of the half marathon course and it is a smallish brute.  Austin’s was way bigger.  And Cleveland had awesome signs to entertain you going up the hill.

Did you ever stop and think that a lot of life is kind of like a marathon?  There are hills.  There is pain.  You get tired.  There is rain and heat and utter exhaustion.  But you keep going.  You might bitch later.  You might whine that you can’t can’t can’t can’t can’t… but you can.  And you do.

Don’t get me wrong (and I know I could take a LOT of grief for the misunderstanding here)… not everyone is cut out to run.  Not everyone wants to, cares to, thinks about, running races (or running at all).  There are people with RA that are way more debilitated than I am.  There are people who’s bodies will not allow them to get out of bed.  There are people (I love you Bear) who struggle every day and finally take a deep breath and admit that they need assistive devices.  But we all have our challenges. There is no shame in needing help.  There should be no judgement in running our own races and learning what we need to learn from them.

And in trying to help each other up the hills.

If I was an elite runner (or an elite anything), I probably would have a different mindset.  I would be determined to win at all costs.  But for me, the races are mostly just life.  We are all in it together.  We are all running our own races, and we are running side by side up the hills, through the rain.  Sometimes we fall and need help getting up.  Sometimes we just do what we need to do and push through it all alone.

But you can’t give up.

You don’t know who is watching you.

You can sit down on the curb sometimes and cry until you can’t cry any more, but in the end you just pick yourself up, wipe the dirt off your butt, and keep plodding along.

Some time around mile 9 or 10 (or 19 or 20 as I hear tell) you start to feel so very very alone.  Sometimes alone is accurate.  And that’s okay too.

And when the course gets rough and the hills get long and steep, it’s okay to stop and catch your breath… rest a bit… and keep on plodding on.

 

Love and Light
April
6/2/2018