There is something incredibly weird about sitting with a half dozen other people in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, everyone typing madly on their laptops. The only sound, the nurse calling the next victim, the almost imperceptible click of laptop keys, and the AC keeping us all from suffocation. And every hour the bells of one of the nearby churches. It makes for a really nice backdrop.
Thirty minutes later… lather, rinse, repeat.
We are bonded by our need for the shots. The need to not want to scratch our eyes out of our head. The need to be able to easily pull our next breath. I wonder at my fellow peeps’s (that is SO not a word) reason for being here. Do they have a cat that lays on their head all night? What weirdness do they have as their affliction? Goodness only knows.
Another comes and takes his place.
There is something really awesome about a doctor’s office that thinks enough of its patients to provide WIFI access to them. And there is something to be said for the fact that I can sit here and be at work all at the same time and not have to take a Paid Time Off day for every day that I need to take three or four hours for shots.
I’m betting most of my fellow trap-ees have cedar allergies. It seems like EVERYONE here does.
I hope, when I’m done with my five (wait… five in each arm… ten) shots today are done, I will feel like stopping at Gold’s and working out… I need to get ready for the Disney Half. I need to lose sixty pounds. I need to feel even more human again. I’m really liking this feeling better stuff that I have going on right now. I keep thinking that I really like the feeling and I really REALLY don’t want to jinx it by thinking that I really like the feeling.
Should I be honest and tell them I forgot to take my antihistamine? Nah… I brought the epipen so I should be reasonably good… and I can take benedryl when I get home.
I wonder how telling it is that I really am starting to not notice shots so much any more. Sometimes I get black and blue marks from my methotrexate shots. Occasionally they hurt. Usually not really so much. I hardly notice them. Now these? I feel the pinch. It really isn’t even as much as a mosquito bite. I still feel the infusions… No matter how good Keiko is about them, I feel them. Sometimes they hurt. Usually, I just feel them for a bit.
Yesterday, I told my boss (and my team mates) that I would be doing this today. I seem to be a running joke, at work. I’m a walking pharmacy. Yeah… I guess I am. And I have entirely too much knowledge and understanding of what all is going on in my body and the bodies of my family. Sometimes I get a little bent at being laughed at… but other times I realize that there is a reason I’m going through this crap and there are people who I have been able to help and to talk to who have had an easier time of it because I know and I understand. I’m not entirely sure what that makes me, but… if I can help one, and that one can help one, then maybe a few people will have an easier time.
Whatever it is, and whatever it takes… I really like how I’m starting to feel… There are times when I forget what it is like to feel really good, to feel like I’m human and like I really probably can finish the Disney Half and not get swept. And when I do, I know I will want to do it all again in 2015… this time with my daughter!
It really is all a trade off… and it really is just a matter of being Dory and just keep swimming swimming swimming… and only boing off of the little jellyfish (and making a pet of squishy).
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