Why do I let her get to me?

“hi didn’t open your email about your reg for marathon tell me about it—is it to raise money for something or are you running to run—–good for you!!!!!! love you   let me know!!!!”

Why do I keep letting it hurt?  She can call me THRILLED with how wonderful she is (even when she calls to wish me happy birthday it has “I’m wonderful” associations…) and I duly make note of just how wonderful she is.  In fact the only time she does bother with me is to let me  know where I’m failing in life and where she is MOST wonderful.

I guess I knew it wouldn’t matter to her when I included her.  I guess it was stupid to think otherwise.

This is my first REAL race.  This is my first significant attempt at major fund-raising (which Sister Sue is TOTALLY killer at).

Does any of it matter?  Am I really only here to reflect how wonderful she is?

Feeling sorry for myself is way easier, too, because I’ve not been able to run in 3 days because of pager duty.

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