Trying to Figure out How I Got RA

I know that everything says that there isn’t anything you can “do” to catch it.

I know that a lot of it is hereditary (Hi Vaughn… this is a weird cousin to your Diabetes!!!)  and I know that I had several great great aunts that had gnarled knuckles… and the day that I got my diagnosis, while I was sitting at my desk at work… that was what went through my mind… their knuckles…

I know that my broken arm and subsequent surgeries and dead guy (cadaver bone) probably made it really happy to have a great place to settle in to…

But in the dark of the night, I can’t help but wonder what I did to cause the RA to find me.

No, there is nothing that you did that landed you in this adventure any more than what I did.  Even though you were assured that cracking you knuckles would cause arthritis and even though you drink caffeinated coffee and all of the  horrible things that you think you might have done… it just… happened.

I think the thing that makes me the most frustrated is that I didn’t show any symptoms until after I started to “get healthy”… after I lost 30 pounds… it just doesn’t feel just feel just that my reward for doing good things is… pain and inflammation and stiffness and lots of meds.

but then I think… lord… what would I really be like now if I was still 30 pounds heavier?  How much worse would I be feeling?  And now… if I wasn’t trying to do right things (except for the divine donuts from the store out by the park that lays waste to my walk and my waist) where would I be now…

Late at night… I just start to think…

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