If I were guaranteed an honest answer, I would ask… what can I do to help my kids deal with reality.
I guess I have done them both a dis-service by raising them to believe that it doesn't matter if you are male of female you can do anything you want to do… dream big and live your dreams. There are no boy toys there are no girl toys there are just toys… Probably not a good idea since the world is what it is… and even today a boy isn't supposed to want to be certain things and a girl isn't supposed to like doing certain other things…
I have raised them to not look at the outside of people but the inside. so they do… but the world doesn't use the same looking glass that they use and the world can find many things to look down on you for. It may be for looking different… it may be for a condition that you have no control over… it may be because you have brown eyes or blue eyes or some other immaterial reason… fact is the world tends to like to find fault with things.
my question would be… how do I help them deal with the fact that their mother is left of center in her ideas of what can and should be rather than realistic and close minded in how it has always been therefore should be…
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No gender-specific toys in my house, either. One year my MIL gave my son a doll for Christmas, and my daughter a set of tools; it’s what they each wanted.
Kids figure the world out pretty quickly. You also might like to read the book, Why Gender Matters, by Leondard Sax, MD