Today, I knew I had a lunch time meeting (which was actually a meeting I enjoyed and I think I’m going to very much like this project) so I opted to try to hit Gold’s before work. Packed my backpack with ‘gym’ clothes (underwear, dry fit shirt, an extra pair of ‘hobbit feet’ socks and sweat pants) and a towel, Secret and some shampoo. There has to be irony somewhere that I managed to get all of that, my laptop and all accompanying cords and cables, my journal and a book I’m reading into my backpack with a little room to spare. I’m getting better at this sometimes.
Hauled my butt to the local Gold’s, marveled at the fact that I had to HUNT for a parking space at Gold’s at odark thirty in the morning, crammed my backpack into a locker, got changed and hit the treadmill. I did three miles in 45 minutes. I’m starting to believe I might actually be able to do this and not get swept. Maybe.
Yesterday did me good using it as my down day. Yoga/Tai Chi/Pillates class that I went to on Tuesday kicked my butt and I’m still sore in muscles that haven’t held poses for well over a year. It was my first real yoga class since my hysterectomy. I’m still feeling it today.
Gold’s is full of people at 5 am. I was sure I would be alone in a big empty gym. No dice. I do like the big part of my local Gold’s better than the Lady’s Gym. There are really nice treadmills. The kind that will alter the incline based on a program or on your suggestion as you run. 45 minutes and I was soaked with sweat dripping from my hair and running in my eyes (mental note… find that gym towel I got a couple years ago).
As I walked, I thought about Disney. I thought about the Austin Halfs that I’ve done. I thought about finish lines and other runners I’ve seen and how this is my own race against myself. I thought about how much I hope I don’t flare in January. I hope I can keep up this pace working out. I hope I can always remember that ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ when people remind me that they hurt and that they can’t do this.
In the locker room, I was reminded that, no matter how much I am female genetically, I have never figured out how to be a girl. There was a woman about my age (maybe a bit older) in her underwear putting on her make up. She was putting on her make up at one of the mirrors (do the men’s locker rooms have this many mirrors?) when I walked into the locker room. When I pulled everything out of the locker. When I went in to shower. When I came OUT of the shower (they have actual COLD water at the gym, ah to have a place where the pipes aren’t heated by the outside air). When I got dressed. When I got my hobbit feet pulled on. When I pulled a comb through my hair and twisted it into a bun. She was putting on makeup the WHOLE time. Not doing her hair. All makeup. Sometimes I wish I knew how to “do” girl… but I don’t think I could handle taking that much time to get ready for anything.
There are a BUNCH of people just as crazy as I am out at the gym in the way way early morning.
Breakfast was Poweraid and Rice-a-Roni… and water… and Gu tablets in water.
Now, here I am. throwing a pony tail holder repeatedly for the cat drinking a cup of coffee thinking about excuses I hear from people who have no other excuse for not working out other than the excuse that it isn’t easy, they don’t like to shower at the gym, they have to get up early in the morning or take time after work and they certainly can’t take time out of their busy lunch.
I am incredibly grateful that I can do this. I am determined to keep going. I am hopeful that I will make it to the finish line in January, hopefully at least fifteen or twenty pounds lighter by the time we head to Florida.
As good as Orencia has me feeling now, maybe this will help make me feel even better.
Here’s to trying to believe in my own magic and making this dream come true.