Quiet Saturday Morning

The coffee is a little too strong this morning, but I don’t really feel like going the whole way back into the kitchen to put in cream and sugar.  I drink it strong and black and kind of bitter. The music is a little too sappy.  My brain longs to curl back up and sleep the sleep of a near coma for at least another couple hours.  But I don’t think that would be best.  Today we are going out for an adventure and I think trying to do the needful this morning is what I need to do more than an extra nap.  Besides, I slept in whole extra hour and a half this morning.

I hear a hot bath calling my name, and I will give into relaxing extra long in a hot bath after bit.

It’s been a really long… What month is it now?…wow… it’s been a really long several weeks.  Exhaustion is my constant companion and I’m starting to try to come to grips with not being able to find any balance.  I hate knowing that I shoulder the responsibility that other people don’t really seem to take seriously.

I’m creeping up on my NEXT infusion day (Monday) and I realize that I haven’t even really written much since my last infusion.   I hate losing myself the way I’ve been losing myself and today I’m going to actually sneak in some time to do something about it!

Today we are going on an adventure.  We are sneaking out, sneaking away and I’m not even carrying my computer!  I’m carrying my phones (my work one too because I can’t ditch all of my responsibilities) and I think I’m going to take my real camera… but I think I’m going to take pictures mostly with my phones.  I would love to have a telephoto lense… but I’m going to take my macro and my wide angle and my fish-eye and take some time today to play.

The past week saw one of the worst flares I’ve ever had, For two days I was taking prednisone and oxy (oxy every 6 hours so it never actually wore off the whole way… thank goodness I didn’t take all of the prescription from my gallbladder surgery)  just to get through the days that I had to get through.  My project is coming to the biggest key milestone (go live) and I have to be/do what I need to be.  Two nights of sleeping on the recliner so I could sleep in fits and starts and get some sleep.  My kids were scared to hug me.  The pain in my shoulder was bad enough that I wanted to throw up.  The predinsone (5 X 10 mg) took the flare down to where I can use my arm and hug my family.  I am so glad that I had the pills from last spring left over.  I don’t know what I would have done without them.  I’m not proud, but I did what I needed to do.

Wish me luck my friends.  I have tons to catch up on!


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