Those Days When You Just Want to Curl Up And Cry

Yesterday was one of those days that I would have loved to simply have either been able to go crawl back into bed and forget ever happened or to at least have been able to do it over with different choices.

Nothing went entirely well all day.  And I can not seem to get past it.

Started by my screwing up and NOT realizing that something was going to bill my checking account and it over drew by 65 cents.  I should have remembered.  I should have paid more attention.  And I know that I shouldn’t should myself the way I did… but… I did.  Yes it was fixable (thank heavens for the grace period the bank gives people to fix things like that) but it still happened.

Found out that people that promised to do things, pretended to but then didn’t.  This impacted me way less than it did Squirrel Girl, but it was irritating none the less. More so because of the sanctimonious way that the person usually deals with everyone, and the way that he belittles women in general.

I have been working REALLY hard to improve my running time, and for a change I can actually pretend that I’m calling it running.  I’m doing run walk run intervals.  My time has improved from sometimes 17 min a mile sometimes 16 min a mile to where I’m pretty consistently under 13 min a mile and always under 14.  I’ve been really proud of myself.  I figured I was accomplishing something.  I’m doing a race on Sunday in Cleveland and I belong to a women’s running group on facebook.  I figured out yesterday that I totally don’t belong in the group despite the fact that it is called mothers run the city.  I’m too freaking old for this.  There was a comment about the upcoming race and someone wanted to know if anyone would run with her (because you know… running is so obviously a team sport), but keep in mind that she runs REALLY slowly.  Her min per mile time?  Ten.  She runs a ten minute mile and it is SO slow. FML… All of the pride I had in what I’ve been accomplishing just went straight to hell.  I don’t belong.  I posted that if 10 min a mile was slow I was totally in the wrong adventure, and once again I was comic relief.  They laughed at me.  Yay me.  Some of the women talked about how they slow way down to 10 – 11 min a mile for longer races.

I really suck that much?  great. Not sure why I should even bother. Yeah… it’s one of those days… and it still hurts a lot this morning.

Sitting in Kohl’s parking lot waiting for Squirrel Girl to get off work, saw a police car come through and the driver was talking on his cell phone (phone in hand up to his ear).  There is a city specific group that I no longer belong to (again… I just don’t belong… maybe I don’t belong anywhere) that I posted what I saw in.  The mothers all decided to dump on my for hating cops and being a bitch and I know nothing and… and… and…  One woman even made the effort to hunt me down after I deleted the whole stupid thread and dropped out of the group to tell me all about the cop in question.  He was a mall loss prevention officer hunting down a shoplifter.  I should be less stupid and more tolerant since EVERYONE EVERYWHERE talks like that on their phone.  Sorry… but with the amount of taxes we pay and the fact that the car in question was one of the SHINY NEW police cars… I would have thought the city might have sprung for… oh… you know… the HANDS FREE version of the car, particularly when the Ohio law goes into effect in just a few weeks where use of mobile devices by drives is against the law anywhere even at stop lights.  Nope.  I should just be shot for thinking that police should set a better example.  Lay the phone somewhere and put it on speaker, put one of those fancy shmancy phone holders in so you can drive around and not have it in your hand, get head sets.  Yes it was ONLY in a parking lot (where, you know… people are walking and not paying attention) but it was also something that you try to teach people not to do.  But everyone is doing it.  If everyone jumped off of the Emelton bridge, would you?  Apparently the moms of my town would, yes… yes they would.

Maybe I don’t belong.

Maybe I am just too big of a freak

There are fewer and fewer places on social media that I even bother posting things.  It’s just not worth the aggravation.

Love and Light
April
8/15/2018