My WW weigh in should have been Saturday 10/20. By the time I should have been weighing in, I needed to be 30 miles away at a race. So… I went Friday during the store’s open hour to weigh in… to see how close I was to actually making goal weight… 150… I was at 150.4 last week… four tenths of a pound away…
Yes, I dressed for the occasion. I wore a tank top in the 40 degree Fahrenheit weather. Yes, I took off my watch… and my necklace for good measure.
Yes I took a water pill Thursday night… just for a little extra insurance.
I knew that, if I didn’t make goal last weekend, it would be another two weeks before I would have been likely to… well after my infusion. When I’m right before my infusion, the inflammation in my joints adds a couple pounds to my weight. I can probably mitigate part of that with water pills, but…. I would just as soon know ahead of time that I don’t have to worry the weekend before. I have enough stress in general to have to worry about all of that…
Turned out that I made goal. I barely made it (149.8) but I made it! Now… onward to Lifetime!
I’ve discovered how important it is that I be gentle with myself.
I beat myself up for a long time over being obese. I beat myself up through my weight loss adventure over not being fast enough or being too fast… over my wings… over my saggy baggy places. I beat myself up over not running “right”… about not being fast enough…. about not getting fast enough fast enough… I beat myself up a lot.
It’s not worth beating myself up over things that just are. I can accept or I can work to change things but beating myself up is pointless. Beating myself up takes way more energy than I need to be expending on such a pointless adventure.
I don’t know if watching Bear stop stressing the small stuff has everything to do with being gentle with myself or if it just has most of everything to do with it, but I know that it has a lot to do with it. I’m still not as mellow about everything and there is still a lot of things that irritate the crap out of me but I’m trying.
Growing up is hard.