Category Archives: Down Day

Feel like an idiot.

I made the mistake of looking up pictures of past marathons.

I feel like such a loser… Everyone is running.  Everyone is so INCREDIBLY skinny.  I feel like a massively huge cow that is a walking looser…

This too, I know, will pass, but for tonight, I feel like I’m less than adequate…

Been reading forums and blogs the last couple of days, and most of them are done by people who have run marathons and half marathons and 20 races in 2 years and who are SO much further down this trail than I am.  People who run and run and run and run.  People who have pretty places to take their run.  People who are lean and healthy and will probably live forever.

Today, I’m feeling like a loser.  I feel like I’m really doing something by running my intervals.  I feel like a champion when I can run a mile or two in a run walk run walk run walk pattern.  I’m not even going to try a half marathon until I think I can make 13 miles in under 3.5 hours and these people are talking bout finishing a marathon in like 3 hours.  I’m up to running for 30 min off and on run walk.  Lord, I’m feeling like a loser… and not really like the  Biggest Loser on TV…

I know this is a feeling that I will get over… I’ve been here before and it usually helps if I just don’t read those blogs and forums for a while and just focus on the path I’m on.  If I focus on my own race, I don’t notice so much what a loser I am compared to other people.  That is one reason that I took up running… I have to compete against myself and beat my own best.  I don’t have to worry about anyone else so much.

Everything I’ve read say that you should find a running buddy… that you should get in a group for the camaraderie and accountability.  I don’t really do well with a bunch of other people.  I don’t do group exercise classes or organized sports or maybe rather team sports.  I don’t like having to rely on someone else for my ability to get my job done.  I can do team player, but I don’t thrive on relying on other people to get things done.  So running (and now adding weights and jumping rope) are ideal for me.