I’ve been thinking about a comment that someone made to merecently. They had been looking at the pictures I was posting on Facebook, and wondered how we packed so much into a single weekend. It’s funny, because we seem to pack stuff into almost every spare moment when the weather is nice. Some days it feels to me like a little too much. My body tends, a little, to rebel after an adventure filled weekend. By Sunday evening, some weekends, I feel like I could sleep for a week.
I’ve also been reminded that I have been remiss in my writing (way WAY WAY remiss in my writing, but Kim only realizes I’ve been neglecting this writing). I’m duly chastised. AND I’m going to finally be making up for some of it. I’ve started so many entries and only managed to get them half way done.
I’m pretty sure that I’m making up, to a great extent, for the fact that I completely missed almost an entire year of doing ANYTHING but work while the Brazil project was active. I worked the days when everyone else was having fun. I worked 60, 70, 80 hour weeks because it was my responsibility. It was my stretch goal. I currently have three more stretch goals all simultaneously, but… you know… There comes a point where I’m neither responsible for or accountable for the fact that we opted to get rid of contractors and the slack has to be picked up somewhere.
So, we are packing as much as possible into weekends. This past weekend was… kind of… too much and I’m paying for it now. Friday night we went to see a show 65 miles away. It was a hilarious Amish comedy. Power went out at our house while we were gone. SOMEONE somewhere blew a transformer or something and we were without power for 8 hours. We got home at 11:30 to dark dark dark, 1:30 the power came on, 2:30 up to get ready to go to the Pro-Football inductee parade. Parade at 8 home at 12, nap till 1:30 pick Amandya up at school 3 leave for the SECOND Amish comedy 65 miles away (it is really beautiful country), home at 11 and up at 5:30 to go BACK to Amish country to ride the Holmes county trail. I feel asleep at 6:00 last night exhausted. Ironically, it was a really really good weekend despite lack of sleep. This morning I ache in places I expect to ache in (my hands from 35 miles gripping handlebars, my butt from 4 hours on a bike seat… a little my knees but not much) but feel amazingly well.
Another reason I haven’t been writing much is I’ve been dwelling on very negative thoughts. I probably shouldn’t read books like Gorge (even though it’s a really good book) because I start thinking about the fact that I’m not the 120 pounds that I was when I graduated from high school or even the 150 pounds I was after Amandya was born. I start to think and I realize that no matter what I do I’m not losing weight. I bike 30 plus miles every weekend. I walk two miles or more every week day. I do half marathons for grins. I now take my coffee (90% of the time, anyway) black and only have about 3 cans of pop a week… the rest is water. I have cut significanly back on what I eat and still I can’t seem to make any progress. It’s demoralizing. I try really hard to be as healthy as I can be and my body is not cooperating.
I’ve been dwelling a lot and I don’t want to be Debbie Downer and only write whiny crap… so I haven’t been writing. Yesterday I finally started to shake whatever had hold of me and this morning figured I could actually do justice to finishing at least one of my posts… with luck… maybe a couple!!!!
So, here I am this morning… breaking out of my funk and trying to rejoin the real world. With luck, I will be able to get on the wifi at Cleveland Clinic while I’m there with Adam for his second cardiology appointment in a week and work on more!!!
Author: April Wells
Updated August 10, 2015