I’m sitting here drinking my medium iced coffee from Dunkin (thank you squirrel, it is extra yummy this morning) watching the rain cover the city. Hands are a little achy this morning, probably because of the weather. Not anything horrible, just a little uncomfortable. And I know this will pass.
It has been such a short half year. It’s been such a LONG half year.
Bear’s nodule has not grown at all… so indications are that it is JUST a nodule and not to be overly feared. The Emphysema isn’t anything fabulous… but it’s not cancer. AND we are both signed up to try to finish the Presque Isle half marathon in a couple weeks… and I can recover while I work from home (YAY RNC, you provided me a whole week of work from home!).
I’ve been thinking a lot how much I need to be very careful how I apply my acceptance. I know I’m a very weird person and that I am way more accepting than a lot of other people are, but I need to remember that I can’t automatically assume others are as weird as I am. I also need to remember that, when I hurt because people call the people that I love names (and I get bent and heart hurt and sad) that when other people have their loved ones called the same (or similar or any) names that they are going to be hurting as much as me. I don’t have to tolerate disrespect or venom… I don’t have to rise to the bait when I’m being trolled… but I need to be very careful to guard my own tongue. I don’t have to agree with my family all of the time for them to still be family. I have been reminded of that more than once and it hurts my heart to know that hearts are hurt.
As a New <half>Year’s resolution, I’m going to be making a more concerted effort to focus back on the things that matter to me as much as to the things that have to matter to “the greater good”. The things, and people, that mean the most to me have had to take a back seat to the quacking of the phone and there is a time and a place for that phone’s quacking but there is a time and a place to not jump when quacked at.
I am focusing more on writing for my heart. I am playing with music more. I am reading and doing more of the things that really really matter to me.
And the rain comes again… the sky was bright and blue in spots for a bit, but now the heavy low gray creeps back in. It washes the color from everything but the bright orange of the traffic cones and road work signs.
Love and Light all