Stress is Exhausting

It’s way o-dark-thirty… but the birds are singing and it is going to be comfortable enough to work on the porch so that is a plus.  Humid as all get out this morning, though.  :/

It’s been a really rough week.

It’s been an even rougher weekend.

The quiet this morning helps.

Bear’s doctor is trying to get him on a newer medicine.  Esbriet… He’s trying to stay ahead of what is going on in his lungs.  The doctor put in his MyChart what the diagnosis is… For the first time there is an actual diagnosis.

Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis

So immediately Bear went and started hunting up YouTube videos on the condition.  And he started to plan for the eventual conclusion to that adventure.  The conclusion isn’t imminent… but the conclusion isn’t pretty, either.

Today we meet for a bit with a representative from the drug company to discuss… I don’t know… stuff.  I wish he would get on some kind of anti-depressants… I know that what he…we… are going through is “normal” reaction to news like this… but…

I’ve been trying REALLY really hard to be positive and stay Mary Sunshine.  I can pull it off about 60 percent of the time.

All I want to do is put on my shoes and start walking… really fast… until I can’t go any further.  I think I’m going to either start “running” in the morning again, or maybe biking.  I’m hoping that the endorphins that the physical activity triggers will help carry me through.

This morning, though, all I can do is sit and listen to the birds and my water fountain.  I am physically exhausted this morning.  I shouldn’t be.  I slept.  I slept hard last night (probably because I didn’t sleep so well the previous couple) but I still feel like I could just lay down and sleep the rest of the day away.  Not an option, I know, but it does sound like something that would be divine.

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