Admitting When You Can’t…

Okay, so I’m really really struggling with coming to terms with the idea that there are just things that I can’t do.  Some of them I can’t do physically… some of them mentally-emotionally.  The physically one seems to be way easier for me to come to terms with than the emotionally one.

I’ve been working on a book that I really really want to publish.  I have a publisher who was willing to commit to a contract.  I have a publisher who thought it was an awesome idea and kept sending me more things to add more pages and more chapters.

What I didn’t have was an editor.

I asked

and asked

and asked

I finally got one.

Now I’m not so sure it was a good idea to get an editor.

Add more pages by cutting huge chunks of content.

It’s great to write in first person active… except… you know.. for when you probably should completely rewrite one chapter in third person passive because you don’t want to irritate one demographic.

Do more of this except don’t

There comes a point where… when you’re crying at 4 am because you don’t know how to make every single sentence in the book suck less or to write in sound bytes because you really want to dumb it down as much as you humanly can… that you start to question the sanity… and your ability to write (which for me is completely not good).

Add in that none of my presentation ideas were accepted for a couple of conferences and I’m almost wondering if it is wise to continue with the subject at all.

I’m seriously considering cancelling the contract and taking what I’ve gotten so far and make revisions and publish it myself.  I will make more (book for book) and I won’t spend nearly as much time crying.


brain dump day

love and light





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