I Won’t Apologize For Being Me


I’ve been thinking a lot about being me, about having RA, and about training at almost 53 for another race (rather, pair of races… with other races leading up to them to get a decent corral placement).  I’ve deliberately not been sharing much because I feel inordinately guilty.  So many people hurt so much and can’t get out of bed and can’t do this and can’t do that… and I SO get it.  But I’m done feeling guilty and I’m done hiding.

I am training for the Fairytale Challenge February 23/24 2019.  I’m going to do a 10k on Saturday and a half marathon on Sunday.  I have 49 weeks to train and I’m going to bust my behind to train the best I possibly can.  I want pictures this time rather than just trying to maintain pace and finish without getting swept.

I have already booked room and park tickets.  I’ve already (thank heavens for travel agents) reserved and paid for the bibs (squirrel girl and I are paid for both races) and now all there is left is a little planning and a lot of training.

Last weekend was my best weekend yet…despite not being willing to get out and run in the rain and cold and yuk.  4 miles on Saturday in 63 min and 4 miles on Sunday in 61 minutes.  Bear did 60 minutes on Saturday at 1.9 mph and 72 min on Sunday again 1.9 mph.  He’s been taking bottled O2 for the gym and running it on 4L… but is kind of planning on dropping it to 3L (what he’s supposed to be on) and see how he does.  He’s nearing the end of his Respiratory Therapy and is kind of worried about the exit test.

I’ve started following Fat Girl Running group on Facebook and realizing that maybe (just maybe) the rheumy was wrong about running… I’ve started really following a run (jog) walk run (jog) method and it seems to be working better than I ever anticipated.  I’ve learned that if I slow my walks down just a little (so less like the walking I usually do in races) that I can speed up my jogging and actually improve my overall speed and time.  I’m still not really shooting for anything lower than a 14 minute mile in the 10k so I can maintain under a 16 minute mile in the half, but time will tell.

I’m going to be doing the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame 10k in August for time and the Towpath 10k in October again for time to see how I’m doing and to get my time for corral placement.  I’ve been reading books about running and I’m starting to find my middle of the road.  I will never “win” one of these.  I will never be fast enough to be an elite runner, but not getting swept and actually getting a picture or two during the race is a goal I think I can shoot for.  My last 10k in December 2015 I did a 14.31 minute mile and felt amazing.  I may actually try to save enough money to do that half again (the Christmas Story House 10k) and still have money set aside for Disney because I really really enjoyed that race.


Be aware that I’m not going to pull any punches starting now.  I’m training.  I’m actually running (and sweating) and I’m going to do my very best to feel good, get healthier and maybe (just MAYBE) loose a little weight in the process.

I’ll start taking/posting pictures of my outside runs.

If anyone finds it offensive… that’s fine.  I don’t want anyone to not believe that my RA is real and that there are days that it feels like hot ground glass in my hands (particularly) but I am running my own race and I won’t apologize for anything I’m doing.


Love and Light

353 days from race day


2 responses to “I Won’t Apologize For Being Me

  1. Good for you! Never apologize for who you are or what you can do. Cheering from the sidelines.


  2. Rick Phillips

    I believe you will make all of them. Bravo, the gain is in trying.

    Liked by 1 person

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