“I’m losing, just not losing big”

I have started to post less and less in groups on Facebook.  Frankly there are groups that I will read posts from but will never posts.  I’m just flat out tired of being ridiculed and laughed at.  I get enough shit in real life, I don’t need to get it virtually, as well.

I enjoy the before and after posts and the lessons learned posts (and sometimes even some of the food ideas posts, if not the “this is what I ate for breakfast… then lunch… then dinner… from some people who have to share every meal every day).  This morning I was reading one that struck me.

I’m doing weight watchers and I’m being pretty successful walking the walk.  Some of the ideas still elude me, but that is just my Aspie-ness getting in the way.  This morning I was reading on one of the posts about how someone was sometimes weaving off into the weeds… sometimes journeying way off into the thickets where the poison ivy lives through her journey this summer.  She is still losing, just not losing fast.  Apparently life has been getting in the way of instant gratification.  That whole concept is something that not only eludes me but completely and totally baffles me.

We are not Violet Beauregarde.  We did not chew a piece of gum from a tray and within seconds gained the weight we are trying to lose.  We should not aim (strive for… expect) to lose the weight as instantly.  To be perfectly honest, some of the time (when I stop and think about it) I worry that the weight I have lost so far (8 pounds from goal… goal is 50 pounds… since March 20) has happened entirely too fast.  The water weight I get.  The first 5 or so pounds I would have expected to lose kind of quickly.  But the rest… It just feels kind of fast to me.

And here I am, within likely just a few weeks of goal, reflecting.

My doctor is thrilled to death.  She was elated that I can EXIST (exist, not live) on 600 calories intake 2500 calories output a day for weeks on end.  Negative calories is the goal.  I don’t think that much deficit is logical and it kind of irritates me a lot.  But that part is over now and I get it.  When I go back in December for my next checkup, she will be even more elated that I hit not only the goal she lied to me about (eat ONLY zero point food… only only only… you should stop at 165…. NO WAIT…. you already are at that and are trying to get weight watchers to accept that when I lied to you… PSYCHE… you need to get to their actual goal because I didn’t BOTHER doing the research before I lied to you and now you have to pay an extra $100 or so dollars because of my ineptitude) but I hit the weight watchers goal and possibly my own goal (they are close to the same) and am on to lifetime.  I’m not convinced I walked this walk entirely the right way.  You should strive to lose, what, 1 – 2 pounds a week.  According to those apparently uninformed people at the Mayo Clinic that is the goal… 1 – 2 pounds a week after the initial 2 week honeymoon phase.

I’m actually good with 1 – 2 pounds a week.  I would like to get to goal quicker because it would be by far cheaper for me to do that… but I’m good with it.  Losing slower, I think, means I have more likelihood of keeping it off long term. Sometimes in my own head I kind of freak because one day I am up and the next down when I weigh at home (yeah, yeah, I know)… but bitching to a bunch of women I don’t know or respect just to be able to bitch doesn’t seem to be productive to me.  I guess there is something to be said about group think and supportive kvetching, but… I just kind of figure my time and energy can be put to better use.

But I’m weird.

Anyway… in the Mary Sunshine vein of things…

I am 8 pounds away from goal
I am 8 pounds away from 52 pound weight loss
I am almost ready (in my head) for the Amish country 10k September 8
I am to the point, again, where I need to venture forth soon to buy smaller work pants
Weather is permitting a less sucky run in the mornings
ALL three of us are starting to talk seriously about venturing forth to Disney in February (that is a good thing)

Onward and upward
or maybe downward???


Love and Light

One response to ““I’m losing, just not losing big”

  1. Congratulations April.

    Liked by 1 person

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