When Everything Changes

So, I’m working on a trip report from this time at Disney. Honest, I really am. Things have gotten hairy the last week and I’ve not gotten to where I need to be. But it is coming.

In the mean time…

Sometimes life changes. Sometimes life is hard.

I know, big shock, huh?

We were at Disney, the day of the race expo, when I got the call that my Bichon (Peanut)’s kidney’s had failed. She was in sever renal failure. She wasn’t eating. Her stools were black and tarry. Her numbers were through the roof high. She wasn’t going to make it. They were giving her subcutaneous fluids in an attempt to keep her alive until we got home (5 days).

It ripped my heart out.

She fought the leash for the first time EVER when we took her to the vet. She didn’t want to go. She loved going to the vet and she fought, hard. She knew.

I wish I had known.

There was no way to get home in time.

She passed at 10:26 am the next morning. The vet techs were with her. She knew she was loved and that she was a good girl. She was the best dog in the world. She wasn’t alone, but I wasn’t there. It hurts. I talk to her every day. I miss her more than I ever dreamed possible.

I feel, with all of my heart, like I let her down. I failed her in the end.

I wanted to stop. I wanted to not do the 10k and half. I wanted to lay down and cry and just stop. But by doing that I would REALLY have let her down. Her dying alone would have been pointless at that point. I couldn’t do that to her.

So now she waits for us at the rainbow bridge. She’s there with Felix the cat… HaChi the dog… Crystal the dog… waiting for us… and we go on.

Love and Light
April Joy


One response to “When Everything Changes

  1. Rick Phillips

    April, I have had to join two beautiful girls at this time in their life and I can tell you that you were in the room. When ours have passed it was relief more than fear. Letting a true friend pass in love no matter the proximity is love expressed for them.

    Sheryl and I will be thinking of you and your family.


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