I was actually going to say good morning but I guess that would depend on when you read and where you are. Is it weird that I pretend that I’m talking to one dear reader (a fictitious reader that I make up in my head) most of the time when I sit down to write.
It probably is.
I don’t care.
Here, it is still darkness time. Not obscenely early but still dark. Sat out on the porch for a bit talking to Monkey Butt about everything and nothing. The new normal is really weird but not unpleasant.
Now I’m sitting at my desk in my office (I should do a picture retrospective of what that is… ) listening to the snoring of the bulldog and having a cup of coffee… catching up on overnight emails and listening to (go figure) my Run Disney playlist on Alexa.
Unemployment is horrendous right now but that is only a sign of the pandemic. The stock market is up but that is only a sign that the government is going to flood the system with checks that will be gone in 10 minutes. And the United States has suddenly become the epicenter of the pandemic. The world is certainly a different place today than it was just one year ago.
Everything is different than it was just one year ago.
Stress is wreaking havoc on my hands. We didn’t go walkies this morning because I just can’t hold onto the leashes if they decide they are going to be butts. Because of the flu, I’m 5 weeks out on my 4 week infusion again and I’m really really feeling it right now. I’m working my way through Napproxen to fight back the extreme ouch. It’s taking the edge off but it’s not feeling great.
It’s been a “well, yeah, duh” kind of couple days… My May races in Cleveland have been cancelled… they are giving the option to do virtual races this year or move your entry to next year. I’m not sure which option I’m going to pick. I think it kind of depends on what their definition of virtual is. I have a hunch that is the one that I’m going to pick… because right now I could really use the goal and the ultimate bling that would be coming in the mail in June, but… I guess time will tell.
For most of my life I’ve kept my mental list of things to do in my head and not really written down anywhere. I have “kept calendars” to be able to go back and look at when I did something… when important things have happened in my life but I’ve never been forced to really really PLAN and have to write out a daily list of things that I need to stick to semi-religiously. That’s new for me now. I am having to really plan and I know that in the foreseeable future I’m going to have to really plan heavily and stick to that plan with a concerted effort.
Funny… this week’s WW printable weekly deals with that extensively. I think that this week’s meeting will help me in a lot of ways.
If I don’t start really putting some structure into my days, I will end up sitting in this chair at this computer putting time into work entirely more than I should or more than I need to. I need to schedule in breaks for my sanity as much as for my physical well being.
Yesterday I “put up” some of the produce that came in my Misfits Market box. I dried the celery in the oven and will put that into jars today. I shredded the carrots and blanched them… put them up in 1 cup packages. I foresee in the near future carrot cookies.
Somehow through all of this it feels like (despite doing undergrad in 2 years and 4 months with 2 toddlers…. working full time plus and getting my MBA and writing all at the same time) I’m finally getting my shit together. And, I guess, if I’m not at least I’m faking it till I make it. Got a text from Squirrel girl telling me that she’s proud of how I’m handling all of this. I’m not proud of how I’m handling anything and I guess it helps to be able to hide most of it from everyone but maybe I really am starting to pull myself together because I know that for the first time in my life I really REALLY have to start having it together…
Raffi is on… I guess I needed this song this morning more than I realized…
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and Delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,
To bow and to bend we will not be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.
Songwriters: / Aaron Ashton
Simple Gifts lyrics © Non-stop International Publishing, Llc
Funny… I didn’t realize it was a shaker hymn…
So, dear fictitious reader, how are you this fine day? I hope that everyone is safe in your world. I hope you’re enjoying your coffee… or tea… or whatever.
Love and Light
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