It’s been rough. Mentally, it has been really rough the last few months. And now Ohio is at 1301 new Covid cases in a day. That is the third single biggest day yet. Our last three days have been 743, 1076 and 1301. I’m worried that today will bring us up over 1500 and that will be the biggest day ever. They have implemented a county by county color coding system for the state.
7 counties are red. We are one of them.
1 county is very close to being purple. I fear for Columbus area. I fear for Cleveland area nearly as much.
And that, my friends, is the lead in to my today.
Right now, I am sharing my space with my bulldog. My buddy. He’s guarding me… keeping me company… being my boy.
Yesterday I kind of melted down. Between the notice that the day before yesterday came out with the news that there were 3 confirmed cases of Covid in the building where I should be working but thank the stars that I’m not and one presumed positive (a tenant of our building, not someone from our company) and the notification that we are one of the biggest hot spots in our state… it was not a great day.
But it was a day that I needed to step up and shake myself off and knock some proverbial sense into myself. I can let this shit beat me down. I can let it define me. I can let it take away everything that I have always been. Or I can ‘man up’ (so to speak… but I guess that isn’t politically correct any more either) and get my own shit together.
I’ve paid for three months of 99 walks. I’m really liking the app and the Facebook group. It is an incredibly positive bunch of people. The theme of July is Joyful Wanderer. June (I made my goal so I get the bracelet) was share your sunshine (or share the sunshine or something like that) and it was a good theme and all… and I really really like the May bracelet that was Inhale Exhale (because yeah… ) but July… July I am really taking to heart. My word for the year in Joy. And I have been struggling mightily with it. But now it’s time to focus on it.
Posted in the 99 walks some of the mental and emotional struggles I’m having. But this morning I really decided it was time to put my shoes where my mind needs to be. So Squirrel and I went for a walk. We went to our park. She wasn’t ready, mentally, to go back to the lake and I’m not really sure I am either. But our park… yeah, I can do that.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that they have been doing so incredibly much work in our park, I know that change happens and change is okay. This change was kind of depressing. They ripped out the dam that made such a pretty waterfall. Right now everything is really dug up a lot and you have to sneak across the BRIGHT ORANGE fence (where someone else had already stepped it down to the ground) to see what has been going on. It was hard to see what they had ripped out, but it is good, too, because they are making it in such a way that you will be able to go down to the edge of the creek instead of taking your life into your own hands if you decide to do that. I viewed it with mixed feelings.
We then went to the wildlife sanctuary part of the park. Squirrel sat in the truck (too humid for her to be comfortable) and I went for a walk. I walked to the pond and watched the fog blowing across the surface of the water. I went to the little pond. I went along the creek. I went and sat for a few minutes at my favorite oak tree. I rescued (not sure if that was something I could get into trouble for or not so… no no, I didn’t do anything) a few of her seedlings and brought them home. They are now planted around my yard.
After I planted the saplings, I came in the house and started a decent sized batch of sauerkraut to (hopefully) fermenting and in about 4 weeks I will be able to can it up.
I’m not completely back yet. But I’ve made the conscious decision that I need to be back and I need to get my proverbial shit together and stop letting what other people do and what other people don’t do impact my day.
I need to center myself and get back to working on my word for the year. It’s the middle of the year and I’ve lost at least a quarter year being lost and afraid. Covid isn’t going anywhere and I need to find a way to live with whatever this reality is.
Love and Light