Tag Archives: walking

Choosing Joy… 99 Walks… Joyful Wanderer… July 4th edition

It’s the 4th of July 2020. I am so over politics. I am so over Covid 19 and its evolving cousins. I’m over the Murder Hornets and the Meth Gators and being scared all the time.

January is the traditional time of “reset”. And in January I decided that my word for 2020 was going to be JOY. And then February happened… then March happened… then April and May and June. I have been fighting so hard to just maintain any vague semblance of sanity and not falling into a pit of depression.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m on year three of my anti-depressants. And there are days when I really want to message my Dr to see if we can’t adjust the dose. It’s not like I have much to be depressed about. Bear on hospice, knowing that the flu probably put him there. Races being cancelled. Fairs and Disney. Movies at the theater being a thing of the past. The world as we know it changing to one where hate and derisiveness are rampant. Realizing just how polarized things really can get. It’s made this Mary Sunshine pretty much a Debbie Downer for a lot of days.

Then I found 99 Walks.

I’m not even sure how I found it on Facebook, to be perfectly honest. It might have been an ad on my feed. I don’t know. I know whatever it was, I saw the shiny thin bracelet that is your reward for making your walking goal every month and I was hooked on the bling. Ask anyone… I have a crap ton of medals hanging in the window of my office at home. Bling is an awesome motivator. And I needed some heavy duty motivation. Three good things every day for months on end wasn’t doing it. Something had to.

So I went and investigated. There is an app for that (go figure). There is a book. There is a central Facebook group. There are spawned off other Facebook groups. Everyone is so incredibly supportive and friendly. It is my respite from the world. It’s not a magic bullet. I still find myself in a pit with nothing to look at but mud walls and worms kind of frequently. But it is helping.

This month the theme is Joyful Wanderer (did I say that yesterday?). I’m taking this month very much to heart. I’m very mindfully walking. I’m stepping up my game. I’m very determined to get my Joyful Wanderer bracelet.

I’m struggling to get back to Choose Joy.

I’m manufacturing ways to try to trick my brain back into some semblance of who I am because I really really miss being me.

Does that make any sense?

So tonight I’m sitting here waiting on French Fries to be finished cooking, nursing a shoulder that has been flairing for about four days now (it usually doesn’t last this long and I’m really not enjoying it). I’m putting my left hand where I need it to be with my right hand so I don’t move the muscles so much in my left shoulder. I’ve been putting Boo Boo Salve on it pretty regularly (it’s awesome stuff… all natural… a friend of my mom’s makes it… https://www.rainbowskytrading.com/) and adding in the Napproxen at night.

Today we went to the zoo again. It’s coming up close to the Asian Lantern Festival and we wanted to see them in the daylight. That, and the Dinosaur experience is open so… yeah.

It was particularly scary to be out and about today. The state isn’t as bad as Florida or Arizona or California right now… but we are double what we were a month ago and it isn’t looking better any time soon. Our county is the second highest number of Covid cases in the state. The mayor of Cleveland made an executive order that everyone has to wear a mask when they are in a public place.

It was good to see, though, that people were actually wearing masks this week at the zoo.

I worked hard today at mindfully spending time with Bear and Squirrel. It was, altogether, a good day. Pictures to treasure. Memories made.

Should we have gone given everything? Probably not. But we were as careful as we could be. Handsitizer. Clorox wipes. Masks and 6 feet apart (even when it pissed people off that I deliberately would not push Bear’s wheelchair past them when it was too close. Bear says he will die sooner if he can never leave the house. I can’t take everything away.

Starting now I will be starting to use curbside pick up.

Am I scared?

Hell yes

But I can do this. I can’t say this is any kind of new normal… but it my current reality and I have to find myself again.

Today was one walk of 2.6 miles pushing the wheelchair and one walk of 1.2 miles. both were mindful and peaceful.

Love and Light

AprilJoy

7/4/2020

Joyful Wanderer… 99 Walks July

It’s been rough. Mentally, it has been really rough the last few months. And now Ohio is at 1301 new Covid cases in a day. That is the third single biggest day yet. Our last three days have been 743, 1076 and 1301. I’m worried that today will bring us up over 1500 and that will be the biggest day ever. They have implemented a county by county color coding system for the state.

Trumbull Ranks Red in New COVID-19 Rating - Business Journal Daily

7 counties are red. We are one of them.
1 county is very close to being purple. I fear for Columbus area. I fear for Cleveland area nearly as much.

And that, my friends, is the lead in to my today.

Right now, I am sharing my space with my bulldog. My buddy. He’s guarding me… keeping me company… being my boy.

Yesterday I kind of melted down. Between the notice that the day before yesterday came out with the news that there were 3 confirmed cases of Covid in the building where I should be working but thank the stars that I’m not and one presumed positive (a tenant of our building, not someone from our company) and the notification that we are one of the biggest hot spots in our state… it was not a great day.

But it was a day that I needed to step up and shake myself off and knock some proverbial sense into myself. I can let this shit beat me down. I can let it define me. I can let it take away everything that I have always been. Or I can ‘man up’ (so to speak… but I guess that isn’t politically correct any more either) and get my own shit together.

I’ve paid for three months of 99 walks. I’m really liking the app and the Facebook group. It is an incredibly positive bunch of people. The theme of July is Joyful Wanderer. June (I made my goal so I get the bracelet) was share your sunshine (or share the sunshine or something like that) and it was a good theme and all… and I really really like the May bracelet that was Inhale Exhale (because yeah… ) but July… July I am really taking to heart. My word for the year in Joy. And I have been struggling mightily with it. But now it’s time to focus on it.

Posted in the 99 walks some of the mental and emotional struggles I’m having. But this morning I really decided it was time to put my shoes where my mind needs to be. So Squirrel and I went for a walk. We went to our park. She wasn’t ready, mentally, to go back to the lake and I’m not really sure I am either. But our park… yeah, I can do that.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that they have been doing so incredibly much work in our park, I know that change happens and change is okay. This change was kind of depressing. They ripped out the dam that made such a pretty waterfall. Right now everything is really dug up a lot and you have to sneak across the BRIGHT ORANGE fence (where someone else had already stepped it down to the ground) to see what has been going on. It was hard to see what they had ripped out, but it is good, too, because they are making it in such a way that you will be able to go down to the edge of the creek instead of taking your life into your own hands if you decide to do that. I viewed it with mixed feelings.

We then went to the wildlife sanctuary part of the park. Squirrel sat in the truck (too humid for her to be comfortable) and I went for a walk. I walked to the pond and watched the fog blowing across the surface of the water. I went to the little pond. I went along the creek. I went and sat for a few minutes at my favorite oak tree. I rescued (not sure if that was something I could get into trouble for or not so… no no, I didn’t do anything) a few of her seedlings and brought them home. They are now planted around my yard.

After I planted the saplings, I came in the house and started a decent sized batch of sauerkraut to (hopefully) fermenting and in about 4 weeks I will be able to can it up.

I’m not completely back yet. But I’ve made the conscious decision that I need to be back and I need to get my proverbial shit together and stop letting what other people do and what other people don’t do impact my day.

I need to center myself and get back to working on my word for the year. It’s the middle of the year and I’ve lost at least a quarter year being lost and afraid. Covid isn’t going anywhere and I need to find a way to live with whatever this reality is.

Stay safe

Love and Light
AprilJoy
7/3/2020

Gallery

Squeezing in a ‘run’ with company

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So, my determined little Dassie Girl (who has taken to liking Dassie girl more than squirrel girl all of a sudden… I think because it sounds neat, and we know what a Dassie is and they are cute) crept slowly … Continue reading