This morning, I decided to make soup for dinner (which is an all day thing) and brownies from scratch. Turned out the soup was better than the brownies… oh well… won’t use that recipe again.
The soup required going to the store for potatoes, cabbage and carrots (as well as bagles, cream cheese, jelly, popcorn and a nice cold drink)… It turns into a 3 mile walk which was wonderful because I got to watch my daughter come back into herself. She got a little dizzy a couple times, but cutting her Keppra dosage in half to work her way up seems to have had a good affect. This is the happiest I think she has been in months! I am wondering how long weirdness has been going on in her brain that we have been attributing to teenage attitude. I KNOW the attitude will be back… but hey… today was precious.
I have another ingrown toenail which is infected… making it hurt and making my ankles hurt and squishy… but I really needed the walk (even though it meant carrying my laptop on my back in my backpack because it is my pager week).
I was soaking in a nice hot bath when we got home and I realized that a year ago… actually about a year and a half ago… I was at Ren Fest (go TRF) and I was in a great little crystal shop… lots and lots of quartz crystals. There was one that was three crystals all stuck parallel to each other. The shop owner wrapped them in silver wire and made a pendant out of them. She called them the three ladies and she was hoping to find them a healing home where they could help three women. At the time, I thought of mom, me and Amandya… but I didn’t know why other than mom is a breast cancer survivor (go mom!)…
It was an obscene amount of money for a chunk of rock that lays around on the ground just about everywhere… but it talked to me… so I bought it and I’ve worn it a few times… it makes my heart smile.
NOW I know why I needed to buy that rock…
Mom is a breast cancer survivor.
I have RA.
Amandya has epilepsy.
I don’t know that it has any actual healing properties… but it brings peace to my soul and that is healing in itself. I strung it on a chain that came from a dog tag machine and slid it over my head…
Everything happens for a reason.
I keep trying to remember that… my RA is for a reason. If the only reason is to MAKE me slow down and take stock of myself… at least it has done that.
I wonder what purpose Amandya’s epilepsy has… I know that it has slowed me down even more… and it has caused me to reach out to try to help others with the same or similar problems (and to make friends with the mother of one of Amandya’s friends who is way sicker than both of us put together… 15 with RA, Lupus, blood clots in her brain… she has been in children’s hospital for FIVE weeks…
Every day is another day. Every day I reach out and try to find the rainbow. Somedays it is harder than others. Today, it was a better day than I expected.