And I don’t mean the horse drawn kind…

I’m trying really hard to shake the sulky… almost depressed… kind of feeling I’ve been having.

We are waiting for Skinny Butt’s AutoImmune blood test results to come back to verify what is up with his body.  He has been having better days and horrible days and his knees seem swelled.  He’s been feeling draggy and run down and has noticed that his mouth does indeed feel dry most of the time.

So I worry.

Waiting for Squirrel Girl’s lab orders (part… four… now…) to come in the mail.  Sigh.  This time the nurse told me that the lab didn’t seem to have gotten sufficient samples to run all of the tests that the doctor wanted run.  I’m trying to figure out if I’m being fertilized with dark rich cow… whatever… by the nurse… or if I’m irritated that we have to traipse AGAIN to the less than stellar lab to get MORE samples taken.  I’m thinking I’m irritated at both.  I’m trying hard to not be pissed at the doctor, but you know… when you have been ignored by the nurse multiple times and you are beating your head against the wall about finding out even what they are looking for… keeping a positive outlook is not easy.

Onward and upward.  I worry.

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Worrying doesn’t accomplish anything… but it doesn’t stop my from thinking and trying to make the results come back quicker.

Now… more sulky?  Yeah, pretty much.

Yesterday, I will guiltily admit, I sent a birthday card to someone because I had an ulterior motive.  I didn’t want the phone call that may or may not come on my birthday to start out with “you should have sent…” like it did last year.  I asked my mom if that was an awful horrible reason to send a card and she laughed because we think so much alike.  Guilt is right up there with worry right now.

Not to be out-done however… I got a text message making sure that we are safe with all of the wild fires in the state (some only a hundred or so miles away).  The text was an effort to shut someone up about worrying about the fires.  That made me feel so wonderful.  It wasn’t that I was ACTUALLY worth worrying about… only that I was worth spending the fifteen or twenty cents on for the text so she didn’t have to hear about it anymore.  Although, I did get a very festive “hb” in a few days from momma and me. HEY… thank you for the whole.. yeah… thanks for the effort of even not quite typing out the two whole words.

I’m trying hard to shake the sulky feeling but this is so not helping.

Having my boss man trying to volunteer me to work the weekend patching so I would have to actually work on my birthday not just carrying the pager for the week…. yeah, that didn’t help a lot either.

SO… I’m working on pulling my butt out of the dumpy feeling, shake off the “hey with friends or whatever like that…” feeling… yeah.

it’s tuesday.

It’s my enbrel kind of day

Lets look for a sunny day!


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