Remind Me To Give a Darn… Please

Okay… just a heads up… I’m having a total poor me kind of day.  It didn’t start out that way.  I started out having a wonderful day.  Yesterday I was told that the doctor usually has you come back a few times, post “op” to see how the injections are progressing… but mine is progressign so well, there isn’t anything else they can really “do” for me right at the moment… unless something suddenly goes south.  But I really should follow up with some physical therapy (twice a week for at least 3 or 4 weeks).  I went there this morning.  The therapist said tehre isn’t anything else she can do for me.  I’m doing yoga at least once a week and walk at least a few miles a day… and seven mile once a week.  She gave me a print out of exercises that I should do to strengthen my back.  I don’t have to go back.  There isn’t anything they can do for me.  I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that “there isn’t anything they can do” coming from the medical community being a good thing.  It IS a good thing, and I know it is a good thing, but hearing “there isn’t anything we can do for you” isn’t supposed to be a good thing from the medical community.

So why am I having a crappy day?  It is pager day.  My boss’s boss suggested that, since it is going to be my birthday over the weekend, maybe my boss would be a great guy and take the pager for me.  For five whole minutes, I actually thought it might be an option… until he said that he has better things to do (yeah… those words) and was not even taking his laptop on his fun fun fun adventure… maybe someone else would be great and take it… no… everyone has better things to do… oh well, sucks to be you… oh well.

Really?  That is the BEST you can do?  Geeze, at least pretend to give a shit, huh?  I know you don’t… all you care about is you… you have proven that over and over and over and over and over (proof being that I was told to shut up when I was trying to say something NICE about someone).  But it would be really nice for you to PRETEND that anything other than your wonderful-ness really matters.

I don’t kid myself in thinking that anybody really matters to people at work.  Work is work and if anyone thinks otherwise, they are kidding themselves.  I do know that I have some people at work who are really friends, not just people I work with… people who make me smile, who care and who talk to me about things other than what the conversation can do for them, and who will no doubt poke me about this… but in general it is better to just lay low and get your job done and get by getting by.  I’m learning that more and more every day (hence the fact that I am so TOTALLY not supposed to bother to say something nice about anyone) just come to work and do my job and work to live becuase I am where I’m going to be and that is all that I can really expect from my ‘job’.  This is primarily why I do things for me outside of work and I just work to get my job done.

It would probably have just been nice to not have been laughed at when everyone said all of the much more important and better things that everyone has to do.  At least I did manage to convince Mister “I don’t want my people to have to work on weekends” that I could run my patch last night rather than doing it on my birtday… Thanks for the concession.

I hate birthdays.  I always end up feeling like a bother to 90% of the people I have to deal with… even when they don’t know it’s my birthday… and I usually make a point of making sure people don’t know.

I know that on Monday I will be expected to OOOO and AHHHH about how wonderful everyone’s weekend was and make it look like it’s real.  Remind me to be JUST as believable as everyone was this morning.


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