Category Archives: rant

It’s NOT Okay

It’s not okay… okay?  It’s just FREAKING not.

I’m a little edgy this week, I’ll give you that. Today I go see my PCP and I haven’t seen her since I got pissed and started Weight Watchers.  I’m down but probably not down as much as she will want and she might just get an ear full on how… you know… Sunday when I did just under 13 miles (at least per my fitbit… map my run thinks it’s more… ) I burned almost twice as many calories as I consumed (Yay 23 points… YAY 752 calories intake…. WOOOHOOO… not… ) and how I’m not certain that this is a sustainable “life style choice” for the long haul.

I’m a little stressed.

So yesterday’s reaction to a situation might be a little skewed.  I didn’t THINK it was, but by the comments… and comments to comments… I’m not so certain any more.

I run.

And I’m actually enjoying running.

I’m down 30 pounds.  I’m kind of enjoying how that feels too.

I run in leggings. I wear either a tank, a technical t-shirt or a technical long sleeved shirt.  Running get up tends to not flap in the breeze, it usually fits more on the tighter side.  That’s just the way running stuff is.

I have a running skirt that I’ve been really wanting to try out… but I’m not sure how I will feel about running in it any more… not after yesterday.

Yesterday I went for a walk in Public Square at lunch time.  I wanted to hit my step goal and that was probably the best way to do it.

As I was walking through, a woman who was out for her lunch time run came past me through the park.  She was wearing all black.  She had leggings to her ankles.  She had a long sleeved technical shirt.  She had headsets.  She was going at a dead run.  I wanted to be her so badly.

A herd of piggies (you know the male chauvinist kind) found it necessary to engage in somewhat questionable cat calling.  It wasn’t for her benefit.  It wasn’t just a whistle.  It was rude.

“Look at them titties bounce”
“Man, that is one fine tight little ass”

I guess maybe I over reacted.

I suppose in the “Merca” we live in today that is perfectly acceptable.

I mean there were only about 30 kids under the age of 8 in the park for the lunch time fun that Cleveland has scheduled this summer.  It’s not like they are of an impressionable age, right?

I posted on facebook.  I was really pissed about the piggies.  It’s NOT alright to treat someone’s daughter/sister/mother this way.  It’s just not.

And I got some people (more, I’ll admit, amongst my running group than ‘regular’ facebook) that were as pissed as I was.  When you hear stuff like that, it kind of strikes home that you are not always as safe as you would like to think you are when you are out running in a public place in broad daylight with your headsets on.

There aren’t a lot of people around when I run so I’m not apt to hear the comments.  But there aren’t a lot of people around when I run… so… yeah.

One woman agreed with me and pointed out (RIGHTLY SO) that in today’s political environment, this kind of talk is not only condoned, it gets you elected president.  At which point it was pointed out that… you KNOW… Billy did bad things so it’s perfectly reasonable that it’s okay to say you could grab them by the <you know the rest> and to treat them like less than second class citizens.

Someone from work (who is at Disney as we speak… I’m so jealous) pointed out that… at Disney… there are women who are walking around with furry nether regions sticking out and with shirts cut low enough that nipples are becoming visible (and not during breast feeding) and if it were him with his junk dangling out of his shorts he would be arrested.  He’s right.  There is a HUGE double standard.

It was pointed out to him that body shaming is never acceptable when he said that he and his wife explained to their LITTLE GIRLS (read… I think maybe 6 and 8) that it’s not a good thing to have your nether regions on display so EVERYONE (including the CTV cameras that live stream Main Street USA) can see if they are natural blondes or not.  We aren’t talking about beach attire here.  We aren’t talking about being AT the beach.  Hello…

People are HORRIBLY offended at the THOUGHT of someone who is trans using the same bathroom as they are using… that someone might SEE something… something on their DAUGHTERS or wives… that they shouldn’t see.  Hell, they don’t have to worry about perverts pretending to be trans to sneak in to bathrooms to catch a glimpse… all they have to do is walk through a public place and wait.  It will come to the perverts, they don’t have to seek it out.

It’s a double standard.

Monkey Butt thinks I’m a freak of a feminist… and I guess I’m a freak in general so why not as a feminist.  I don’t think men and women should be treated differently.  I think if a man is arrested for his dangly bits being on public display, then maybe women should have the same experience.  That apparently makes me unpopular.  Women should be allowed to wear whatever they feel comfortable in wherever they feel comfortable wearing it (or… you know… not wearing it) irrespective of location and audience.  I think, if women have chairs and couches in the lady’s room… that men should have them too.  I think having locks on every freaking lady’s room door at work (all… every single one) but none on the men’s room doors is also somewhat hypocritical.

And I’m sitting here thinking… you know… I know I can get away with (in my head) wearing things that I haven’t worn in YEARS… shorts for example… leggings… shirts that aren’t as huge as I can find to hide in…

I know I can wear things that are cuter or that fit better.

But if it means that piggies are going to find it acceptable to make comments… am I really ready for those head games?

I know, I know… piggies will be piggies… and piggies are everywhere.

But that doesn’t make it okay.

 

Love and Light
April
6/12/18

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Fear Factor… Reading Race Posts for the Disney Princess Half Marathon 2018

So… I’m feeling all hyped and at the same time apprehensive for the 2019 Princess Fairytale Challenge.  10k Saturday, half marathon Sunday… February 2019… Yesterday it became official… we booked through a travel agent for the challenge bibs, rooms, dining plan and park tickets for 10 days.  I’m actively working towards a goal completely terrified I won’t make it… but a goal none the less.

I’ve been eavesdropping on conversations on Facebook groups about this year’s race.  Some I can so totally relate to… some not so much… but it’s all information and it’s all good.

This morning I saw a post that stopped me dead in my tracks…

I had the flu but mostly recovered, did the 10k but the morning of the half had a sore throat and fever but I wanted to do it anyway but <ajw THANK GOD> couldn’t… found out I had strep….

I had the flu and did the 10k but couldn’t do the half…

okay…. pretend you are on the other end of that discussion ….

I spend an OBSCENE amount of money dumbing down my immune system. My body hates me and attacks itself if I don’t. I find any way I can to not touch things like tables in public places, elevator buttons, gym machines that inconsiderate ass holes use and hang all over and sweat all over the treadmill and walk away without listening to the signs saying that after you sweat all over everything wipe it off…. I am overly cautious and I’m overly cognizant of this kind of thing…. frankly because I have to be. I read posts DUMPING on inconsiderate people at the races who walk in the wrong places or jump into corrals where they don’t belong…. and then I read the posts that say that they have incredibly contagious diseases (in a year when a lot of people…people like me…. people like….oh you know… the little kids you’re around) from just these diseases. But I guess that contaminating the happiest place on earth is way less inconsiderate than all of the other stuff because it’s you?

Do I know there are people who don’t think… yeah. Do I know there are people who just don’t care, yeah. But as long as you are talking about entitled people being inconsiderate to you, realize the mirror works both ways.

Okay…

Rant over…

Coffee consumed….

Off to infusion time to dumb down my immune system some more…

Love and light

April

2/28/18

Inogen Customer “Service” rant

It’s sobering to realize how much people take the simple act of breathing (and not HAVING to be concerned about whether or not they will have the oxygen that they need when they need it) for granted.
I just got off the phone with ‘support’ for Larry’s Inogen portable concentrator. He’s been having an issue getting one of his batteries to charge in the external charger… it never seems to be charging but the ‘charging’ light blinks off and on off an on off and on red. One battery lasts 4 hours. One battery takes 6 – 8 hours to charge. He has three. Each one cost over 500 dollars.
The EVER so helpful man on the phone suggested that I plug in the battery and leave it blinking for a few hours and stick it back in to the concentrator. Do this for a couple days to see if it might just be a fluky little thing or if it really is a problem…
DO THE MATH
use the battery 4 hours until it is dead
Plug it in for 3 hours or so (while you are depleting the SECOND battery) and see if maybe the battery charges to half without you knowing it is even charging at all and without maybe guessing if it matters or anything. If it doesn’t HAPPEN to be charging, that means you are down to having 4 hours on one battery, one external charger you can use, two batteries to charge and nothing to assist with the next 12 hours.
But you will know if your 500 dollar paper weight will charge when it is doing blinky blinky blinky red light which isn’t what it’s supposed to do when it is charging.
Really? REALLY REALLY?
Do you think that anyone bothers to actually think about what they are telling you or do you think they just have a “your’re getting a call from a pain in the ass customer” script? I paid an OBSCENE amount of money to these people and after three months I should just play around and see if maybe we can get this baby to work…
It is warrentied for a year. Not a couple days. not even a couple months (and he’s had it almost five months now). A year. I don’t care if there are know little glitchy thingys that mean I don’t know if the battery might or might not be charging but we can hope and maybe it will maybe it won’t (but you don’t ACTUALLY need to breathe for the next few hours anyway, right??? )
I’ve never had a HUGE amount of patience with people on customer service lines that can’t be bothered to think at all for themselves or who get mad at me for questioning the sanity of what they are suggesting.
We are 2 weeks from going to Disney.  I will have to leave a battery in First Aid charging once it is depleted.  He has 12 hours of battery available to him at all.  If I can’t rely on the battery to charge in 6 – 8 hours, by the end of the day he will have no oxygen to get him back to the car.  I know this is a trifling thing if you don’t have to think about every breath you take but when you do it is a sobering thought.
Man was rather irritated that I wanted the battery warrentied.  I wanted to be able to rely on it working rather than hoping like heck it might work and taking a chance it might not.  I guess I was being difficult.  I know he thought I was.  He kept trying to get me to take a few MORE days testing out his little suggestion and see if maybe it is one of those little glitchy things (like in Wreck it Ralph?) or if it really REALLY needs to be replaced.
I honestly hope that the people who don’t get it never have to be in a position where they HAVE to understand what I’m trying to explain to them.  I sincerely hope they never have to worry about breathing (or hurting, or being able to walk, or what they eat, or when they have to take their meds to keep being okay or if they can drive because they have uncontrolled seizures or whatever the condition is that makes life less than ideal for someone).
But if for some reason they or someone they love happen to have something like this to deal with, I also hope they have someone with a brain and compassion to deal with as well.

It Makes My Head Hurt

Okay… here is a ran.  Be forewarned.

Math puzzles irritate me.  More to the point, math puzzles on facebook irritate me because it makes painfully obvious that people can not think.  They irritate me more when I’m 5 weeks out on a 4 week infusion schedule, so I’m really not feeling overly conciliatory right now.

One rabbit saw 6 elephants while going towards River.
Every elephant saw 2 monkeys are going toward river.
And Every monkey holds one parrot in their hands.

Now, honestly, I don’t care how many were going to the freaking river.  The puzzle reminds me of one I learned as a kid…

As I was going to St Ives I met a man with seven wives, every wife had seven sacks every sack had seven cats every cat had seven kittens… kittens cats sacks wives, how many were going to St Ives…

Sometimes I read through the comments and shake my head at the math (there were answers ranging from three to five to thirty one to twenty five)

TODAY I read through the comments and lost it.  One of the comments was that it had to be three… one rabbit and two moneys because parrots are birds not animals.  The EXACT same comment was on a post when I googled the math puzzle to see what other responses there were.

Now, I’m no math wiz, but I do know that a parrot (and a seagull and a freaking pigeon) are not plants, they are not insects, they are not rocks or dirt… birds ARE ANIMALS!!!

I don’t care how bad at math you are, I don’t care how much you think you know about absolutely everything… birds are animals.  They are not mammals they are birds, but animals they are indeed.

It frightens me that our schools have failed so badly in that simple thing.

 

Sorry
rant over
coffee time
and maybe some Napproxen

 

love and light
April

4/14/17

How Many Likes

<<< Rant… just saying… you can leave now if you wish>>>

Okay… so this morning I have enough time to think and I realize just how much this bothers me and just how much I need to get this out of my head.  There are things that drive me out of my tree (this is one of them) that I can vent about and there are some that I know venting will not help even in my head.

So vent I will

I am on Facebook.  I joined Facebook to, frankly, keep track of my kids and to kind of patrol what they were saying and to try to derail (when they were minors) any stupidity that I thought I might be able to derail.

I read (when I can) posts that other people post.  I smile at the cat and dog posts.  I cringe at the plethora of rhetoric that has descended in the past year.  I read and I think

And what has been eating at me so much lately (other than the posts that deride others if they don’t agree or that do the neener neener neener dance over and over and over again) are the posts that ask how many likes can this person get, how many likes can this poor puppy get, like and share and comment and jump up and down on one foot and scream to the cosmos if your God is a vain and needy God.

I just paged through an entire “page” of how many likes can this get, how many likes can that get, how many likes… like me like me like me like me! The person in the picture will probably never know how many “likes” they got.  But the person who is doing nothing to improve anything, nothing to help, nothing to make a difference is getting a BAZILLION likes for posting a picture that elicits emotion.  Yay for popularity contests.

My God is not a needy God.  I honestly don’t think He gives a rats ass how many people on Facebook like a post about Him or comment Amen (Overcoming cerebral palsy, type Amen if God is good…. Can they get a amen with alot of likes… 100 likes in 2 minutes guys ? cutest baby ever)…  I think He is too busy with important shit to really worry about His ratings on Facebook… or the number of like YOU are getting by posting that people should like comment and share.

No.
No, I won’t
and the more you beg me to, the less likely I am to like ANY of your crap and the more likely I am to unlike a page and scroll on past your crap.

There are things that I will share.  Yeah, probably entirely too many but the ones I share speak to ME and are targeted at ME because they make me think.  Yeah, it makes me smile when one of my pictures that I take with my phone while I’m in the out and about get liked  on Facebook or when something I’ve said here or in my writing blog get liked (because then I can kid myself into believing that my words have touched lives and made a difference).  But for me it is more the knowing that something that I’ve done or said has maybe helped someone… that maybe I have made a small difference even just for a day.

It’s not a popularity contest.

If something has helped, I am incredibly happy that it has helped.

If something has made you smile or think or understand a little better, then that is even better.

There are times that I would love to have certain people like my crap because then I would think that maybe they understood.  But they don’t and… they don’t… but I’m used to that.

So I will end my rant and I will work harder at planting flowers and spreading Joy and being a tiny light in the darkness.

Love and Light
April
1/25/17

Gallery

Coloring Mandalas: A Rant

***** Warning… I’m on a rant **** I read a blog post this morning about adult coloring pages/books with mandalas being a tool of Satan.  Normally, I read things like this will a jaded eye and go on my merry … Continue reading

It’s a COFFEE CUP!!!

****************** Rant Alert *********************

So, the hullabaloo lately has been Starbucks red holiday cups.  I’m not sure if it is as big a deal as social media makes it out to be or not.    If it isn’t, then it is AMAZING marketing on Starbucks part.  If it is… PU-LEEZE…

It’s a cardboard cup that will end up in a landfill somewhere.  It’s a FIVE DOLLAR cardboard cup that will end up in a landfill somewhere.  It’s a cup.  If you only drink Starbucks because they have CHRISTmas cups, have you ever actually paid attention to the cups?  I’m not sure what part of Jesus was connected to snowflakes, snowmen or reindeer, but I’m sure there is somewhere in the Bible that had snowflakes.

The holiday cups come out in November.  Not typically the Christmas month, but… you know…

Starbucks is a global company.

Coffee/tea is not a Christian drink.

We live in a country where separation of church and state is an HUGE deal as long as it is separation for MY religion but NOT yours… neener neener.

It’s a CARDBOARD cup.  It will come with a brown corrugated sleeve so you don’t burn your widdle fingers on the cup.

This country is so consumed with what one COMPANY is doing with their cups… you know what… buy ten of those plain red cups of coffee/tea and walk down the street handing them to cold homeless people.  You have a FAR better chance of having people remember that “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” than seeing your “OH SO ORIGINAL” use of

My name is Merry Christmas (so you have Merry Christmas on this year’s cup )

as you strut your proud little self down the street…

You know what… go buy yourself a Merry Christmas travel mug and have Starbucks use THAT to put your coffee in.  You get your coffee and your sentiment and it keeps trash out of the landfill.  You get to be ecologically intelligent AND have your coffee in the cup of your choice.

As for me, I’m going to keep drinking my ‘while I’m out and about” coffee, no matter where I buy it in one of two cups this holiday season.  And maybe, just maybe I will go buy an extra cup of coffee when I go buy mine, and hand it to the people living in the two tents under a bridge right now in Cleveland…. and while I’m at it, maybe a hat and scarf and glovies to go with the plain red cup (or white, or whatever color it happens to be)

DSC00448Merry Monday!

 

Author: April Wells
Updated November 9, 2015

Gallery

Freaking Cold

So… today I go back to work.  A week of vacation and a day of work from home and today I go back.  It’s going to be -1 when I start my mile walk from my parking lot to work.  I’m … Continue reading

Fighting To Retain the Christmas Spirt

***** Warning… rant in progress… *** Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I love Christmas.  I love winter… almost as much as I love fall.  And here I am… sitting at my window, trying very hard to retain the Christmas spirit.

This morning my fingers are not happy.  I’ve used my Tiger Balm and my Voltaren gel, and they are still not happy.  I’m going to have to resort to Napproxin shortly.  This is not a huge big deal.  THAT at least is something I have come to expect at random times.

I’ve been sitting here absolutely depressed, however, over my work schedule for the rest of the year.  I’m not supposed to be on call at all this weekend.  AT ALL.  Yesterday I got a rather testy phone call asking me why I wasn’t on line because it was go live (WHO knew) for a project that I wasn’t aware I was even still responsible for.  4 hours working on THAT project on my day off (another hour or so today… yay me) PLUS I got another rather not happy call from MY project team asking me if I could log on and work for an hour or so because the person who WAS on call was TWO HOURS away from his computer.

It’s not bad when I expect it.  It’s not nearly as bad when I can plan around it.  Finding out that my daughter is liable to get fired for being late because no one bothered to tell me that I had to work on my weekend off… really?  Thanks guys… Uber Specialness.

Starting on the 18th (The ENTIRE holiday, ironically starting the SECOND I am allowed to carry more than 10 pounds) I’m on call for all but three days through the end of the year.  I’ve already been warned it’s going to be very busy and there are going to be a lot of things that have to be done. Merry Christmas.  Yay me.  Christmas eve and Christmas day, New Years Eve and New Years day, the entire weekend for two consecutive weekends.  There are going to be two of us NOT on vacation on the Friday after Christmas.  Because when people committed to what they were going to take (back in September) as vacation… they forgot what they said.

Good thing we got the Christmas lights out of the way over Thanksgiving.  I’m trying so hard to keep looking forward to the rest of the Christmas season.  I’m NOT working next Sunday.  I don’t care if someone has to drag my cold dead body across the finish line at the Santa Hustle… I’m holding on to at least that remnant of my holiday.

I’m trying… I really am…

I’m not sure if it is the full moon making it worse, or just realizing that commitments don’t mean shit to people when there are good times to be had… but whatever it is, I have to find a way to shake off the tears and get the holiday spirit back.

People are Just People

People are People So, I’ve pretty much had it with people dumping on people because there is something, just a little something, that they don’t like. Hair color, nationality, sexual orientation, gender, whatever… People rag on other people for lots of reasons. None of them are really good reasons.
I don’t know if I’m getting old, or I’m just flat out weird, or maybe a combination of a lot of things, but (as I’ve been watching out the window of the bus navigating the highways and byways of Ecuador) I realize that that People are People.
The people you pass on the street? They may not be JUST like you, but they really are just like you. They have their own problems. They have their own opportunities. They hurt, they get angry, they get happy, they love.
Life is so full of ire and anger and stress, why is it that people find it necessary to spend so much energy and effort on judging and hurting other people.
Cliche? yeah… I know.. but… seriously… why can’t we all just get along?
I watch the people… they are going to work, carrying their children, waitng in line at the bank, packed like sardines (more cliche? full of it today, aren’t I?) in city busses.
What is it about people that compels them to judge, to hate, to malign? Energy would be much better spent focussng on making yourself less stressed and more content rather than expending it on hate against others…

okay… soap box over.. you can go back to your regularly scheulded programming.