Thoughts on Mother’s Day…

I sit here thinking about being a mom on this quiet mother’s day morning.  We were out late last night (we celebrated yesterday to avoid the crowds) .  Dinner at Carino’s  then to TOS’s Beethoven’s Last Night. Everyone is either asleep, still, or at least resting.

I’ve been reading posts in Facebook.  People are sending Mother’s Day wishes and thinking about their moms and their kids.  One post in particular grabbed my attention… 20 MORE REASONS MOMS OF KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS ROCK

The blog post is written by a mom of a little boy with a beautiful smile who happens to have Cerebral Palsy (Love That Max).   I like her.  I’ve never met her, but I like her a lot.  She is one of those people I would love to sit down and have a cup of <insert hot beverage …. or cold beverage… of your choice here> with.

I love all of the twenty reasons.  All of them make me feel proud and humble.  I think the one I identify with the most is…

7. Because we have cried more tears than we ever thought humanly possible, but never let our kids see the sadness.

My kids… both of them… fully believe that I am the eternal optimist.  I do try to remember that… whether I think I can or I think I can’t, I’m probably right… and that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (although there are times that I wonder if it is only because you don’t choose to let it kill you as much s anything).. and attitude is a choice… so I make myself be Mary Sunshine… (boy that sentence sucks… )

I cry for my family.  I curl up with my stuffed bears (or my stuffed Barney… or my Figment… it depends on the day and how I’m feeling and why and… so many things… which I pick… ) and I cry.  I cry on my way to work.  I cry in the bathtub.  I just don’t let anyone see my fear and desperation and my feeling like an utter failure.  Then I brush it off and straighten my back and put on my sunny face and face the world.

It is important that I be strong, no matter how I’m feeling… physically (bless these mushy achy joints) or emotionally.  If I’m strong… maybe I can make them stronger, too.  Maybe not… but anything is possible.

The other one that speaks loud and strong is…

13. Because we listen to other mothers complain about the small hardships of their lives and we don’t say “You think you’ve got it hard, sister?!” We just think it.

It’s funny… the people who “get it” know they get it and they plod on.  The people who don’t get it, but plod on anyway… they get it and don’t even realize they get it.

There are times when my patience wears thin and I have to really struggle to not tell the people who don’t get it that they don’t.  Whether it is what I am dealing with that they don’t get, or what my kids are going through… I sometimes have to bite my tongue hard enough I’m surprised it doesn’t bleed… but bite it I do.  I can’t change the fact that they don’t get it and going off on them won’t help any situation and they would still not get it but would have an even worse view on special needs people in general and that wouldn’t serve any purpose.

It is mother’s day.

Hug your mom (even if you have to do it virtually… like I do) and hug all the moms (virtually or personally) that you can… today and always.  We need the hugs and the support.  Remember… whether we are genetically tied or not… we are family because we have an amazing common bond… the dirty, smelly, sweaty, beautifully smiling faces that belong to us, no matter how old the faces are…

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