Finding Yourself

Suffice it to say, I’m not your ‘typical’ 40 something.  I was sitting listening to the Cars soundtrack and decided that one song was talking to me… a lot… and the lyrics have nothing at all to do with finding MYself so much (I pretty much have found myself, now I just have to kick myself in the butt and get myself going more reliably) but in watching my kids find themselves…

Find Yourself Lyrics
Artist(Band):Brad Paisley

When you find yourself in some far off place
and it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly you’re becoming someone else
And then you find yourself…

When you make new friends in a brand new town
and you start to think about settling down
The things that would have been lost on you
are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
yeah that’s when you find yourself

Well you go through life
so sure of where you’re heading
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
because you find yourself,
yeah that’s when you find yourself.

When you meet the one, that you’ve been waiting for
and she’s everything, that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself,
yeah that’s when you find yourself

We you go through life
so sure of where we’re headed
And we wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah that’s when you find yourself.

It is wonderful to be able to witness my kiddlings (not so young, but kidlings all the same) finding themselves.

Sometimes it really does take loosing your way, having something hit you square in the face, to make you stop going day to day and really think about your life.  Fortunately, most teenagers don’t actually have to have that kind of HELLO experience, and if they do, it is only tangentially.  But when they do, it is wonderful to see. My “little” boy is finding that he can walk with confidence and look the world in the eye and not get HIS eye blacked  by an inevitable kick.  The kick may come, but they are no longer a guarantee, now that he is an adult (bullies suck).  My baby girl (suck it up, kiddo… you are always going to be my baby girl) is finding out that she is stronger than she thought and that sometimes, while life isn’t exactly fair, there are some beautiful rainbows in the storm and pots of beautiful flowers at their ends (gold isn’t all that it is cracked up to be… flowers are way the heck better).

I get to have quick glimpses into the blooming lives of my far away family flowers.   Not as often as I would like.  Not as closely as I would like (I would love to be able to sit down with my family, one at a time, and share a glass of lemonade or cup of tea…coffee…cocoa and just talk about stuff) but alas it is what it is.  I love to see the way my mom has grown out of her breast cancer and into a stronger more “bite me” kind of person who takes on the world, and doesn’t take ANY hostages… lots of new friends… lots of interesting new glimpses on the world, but NO hostages.  My nieces and nephews are coming into THEIR own… and I’m trying SO hard to foster their dreams and keep them from getting too discouraged.

There are awesome people I’m loving watch find themselves too… people I only know because of crisis in our lives… people I treasure dearly.  One lady is such an amazing person who has so many bad things happening in her life.  I wish dearly that I could help her more directly (more than being a virtual shoulder… a virtual hug)… she is in the

We you go through life
so sure of where we’re headed
And we wind up lost

part of her song.  I know wonderful things have to be coming for her (yeah yeah, the eternal optimist) she just needs to have a look at what might be…

and its the best thing that could have happened

Where are you?  I know it irritates my kids no end that I am always looking for the bright side, but I know that I can’t change the fact that I have legitimate limitations in my life.  I can’t change that there are people around me who insist on looking at life through gray glasses, I can put on my rose colored ones and try to chase away my own clouds (attitude determines altitude… and honey, I’m going to fly).

Don’t look at what you can’t do.  Find something you can do and “run with it” (if only figuratively.  Home bound?  Have to have someone deliver you meals on wheels or come to be your home nurse?  Try to brighten their day.  Add some humor to their lives.  Learn about their lives and try to look forward to the glimpses that it brings to yours.

Find pictures of whatever fills your heart with happiness and tape them to your wall (have someone help you tape them to your wall) and look at them and smile.

Find yourself.  What you are facing doesn’t have to define you, maybe it can just be a way to refine and re-find the you that you are in your heart.

Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah that’s when you find yourself.