Category Archives: Uncategorized

It is neat how this is starting to change my thinking.  Not a lot, I’ve always noticed a lot of the small things, but now I’m looking for more ways to make sure that other people (kidlings) start to see them, too.

1. No one was hurt in the scary weirdness of yesterday.

2.Purple cast material

3. stopping for a cup of pumpkin spice latte coffee

4. walking 3 miles, to the school and back, in my vibrams

5. free books

A store with live fish for sale, vicinity of Natchitoches, La. (LOC)

What is more important? Neither.

If I could choose… I would live in a cabin… in the forest… with a porch overlooking the mountains and porch overlooking the beach on an ocean or really really big lake (like Superior, or Huron or Erie) but all in all… it really doesn't matter where you live or what you do… it matters how you live.

I could get all philosophical… and say that you should live this way or you should live that way… but why? You know how you should live. You aren't an idiot.

What matters most to me?

Making sure that I'm "there" for my family, i know that we would starve and live in a box under a bridge if I didn't have a job, so I can't be physically there all the time, but I'm there when it really matters and I'm there when I can be even when I don't figure it matters.

It matters that I've started to really center myself and take care of myself.

It matters that my kids know that there are no girl toys there are no boy toys there are just toys and no matter what it is they want to play with (within legal reason… ) they can and it is okay to do that.

I don't care how they dress (okay, okay… in public I care THAT they dress… but again, within reason I don't care what they wear) or how they choose to adorn themselves. They are good kids and that is what matters.

The world may say I'm wrong.

Many people probably do.

I know that lots and lots of people believe that it INCREDIBLY matters what you do for a living… but I can't care that much about making other people happy anymore.

I know that it matters where I live, but because it would be wonderful to be near to more people who matter… but in that case, again… it is less where, and more how…

I guess I didn't quite grasp the spirit of the question…

Weird faces/ people – DIGITAL COLLAGE SHEET – Free for personal use

It is all about the journey… whether the journey is a literal trip, or simply the trip from one day to the next, one moment to the next, one heartbeat to the next. This is my journey… my journey from skinny scab kneed tom boy who spent all of her free time either reading about the wonders of other people's lives (hello Ramona the Brave… Hello Stormy Misty's Foal… hello Edgar Allen Poe) or writing all of the unusual things that flutter around in my brain.

I've always been a little left of center… a little more marching to my own drummer than to other people's expectations… I colored outside the lines… I broke my crayons… I LIVED outside of the box… and to this day, I continue to do my own thin, in my own way… deal with it.

Sunset balloon flight

she sees

sun sinking

soon setting

slowly

soft… sweaty

scorching softwood

subordinate skyline

sea sizzles

smooth sundown

snuggly sigh

When my son, Adam, was about 3 years old, we went to see Oglebay Christmas Lights… one of the features was a laser light show… they played wonderful music (Manheim Steamroller) and had fabulous lights dancing on the ceiling… one of the dancing lights was a candy cane but you could see the "cube" that was around it as a very faint outline…

Adam… in his infinite precocious-ness… instantly cracked up the entire audience by saying…

"oooo… mommy… Jello"

and it looked like the finger jello cubes that you can make (and that i used to make often for the kids, particularly when they were feeling crappy)…

Everyone made such a fuss over him because it was such a cute thing to say… and such a true use of his budding imagination.

Easy Peasy…

If I were guaranteed an honest answer, I would ask… what can I do to help my kids deal with reality.

I guess I have done them both a dis-service by raising them to believe that it doesn't matter if you are male of female you can do anything you want to do… dream big and live your dreams. There are no boy toys there are no girl toys there are just toys… Probably not a good idea since the world is what it is… and even today a boy isn't supposed to want to be certain things and a girl isn't supposed to like doing certain other things…

I have raised them to not look at the outside of people but the inside. so they do… but the world doesn't use the same looking glass that they use and the world can find many things to look down on you for. It may be for looking different… it may be for a condition that you have no control over… it may be because you have brown eyes or blue eyes or some other immaterial reason… fact is the world tends to like to find fault with things.

my question would be… how do I help them deal with the fact that their mother is left of center in her ideas of what can and should be rather than realistic and close minded in how it has always been therefore should be…

Okay… time for yet another commercial that makes me just scratch my head.

there is one with wonderful children (young kids) who know what their allergy triggers are.  You are supposed to go to a website to see if your kids are at risk for anaphalaxis.  It is supposed to help you figure it out…

you click boxes next to things that you know have caused you or your child issues in the past (there are several common allergens) and several of the common allergic reactions.  you click the boxes and it tells you what you already pretty much know if you have gotten that far… you have triggers and you are at some risk.

This is going to tell you that your child, who has had some reaction, that your child may have another reaction and it may get worse.

I have to tell you… if your child has any reaction, it can get worse… way worse… My squirrel’s first trip to the hospital was for her shell fish allergy.  She could have died.  Despite claims to the contrary to this day by someone who shall not be named who thinks it is fantastic to tell everyone that we now have a slew of shell fish in the freezer and who claims all she really needed was a little benedryl… NOT…

But the website in question won’t give you anything much more than you already have.  See an alergist so you know if you need epipens or if you have to worry about more than you realize you have to worry about (like dust mites in our case)…

Well… my replacement laptop came with Windows Live Writer… so… here I sit… messing with the laptop thinking about what I can do to make it all mine… what I can do to make it most useful… what toys I can play with.

Windows Live Writer might be one of the cool things that you don’t need a new toy to play with, you can download it for free… and… it seems to be pretty much a really cool toy… interesting…

I wonder what all I can do with it…

If I had unlimited resources (resources being all inclusive…) I would create a world where people would allow all other people to just be people and not judge them by arbitrary standards.

Don't get me wrong… laws still have to stay in effect… you can't go around killing people just because… even in texas where "they need killing" is a reason…

I would create a world where it is perfectly okay to be gay or straight, where it is okay to not be "perfect" (it's okay to be fat, thin, wear glasses or braces… on legs or teeth or whatever… it's okay to be hearing impaired, or autistic or epileptic or blind… it's okay to be black or white or green or blue or purple…) where people get over the whole I am better than everyone else or I deserve to be in front of you because I'm better than you or where people think it is okay to take advantage of people just because they can.

Not a utopia… that would be boring… but where people don't find it necessary to dump on the world just because they figure they are better.

No one is better

it isn't good

it isn't bad

it is just different

I try not to inflict my difference on you (maybe explain it so you understand… but not inflict it upon you)

All I ask is that you shut up and tolerate that I (or anyone else who isn't perfect like you) exists

Man… I don’t know if it is anything to do with RA or not, but I have been getting a whole new kind of headache lately… Tension headaches I SO recognize… but these are like….

They are like someone has a bright yellow balloon (yeah… I have thought about it… I and it is yellow… BRIGHT yellow) inside my head and they are slowing inflating the balloon…the pressure seems to be uniform across my whole head.  And there isn’t much that makes it “better”… I got it this morning and I’m not happy.  I have to work 13 hours today and I’m SO not looking forward to it.  The last headache like this lasted three days… I think I’m going to opt for tea at work today rather than pop… I hope something will take the edge off pretty soon…