It was an incredibly busy week at work (which bespeaks to why I haven’t had the time to post to any great degree…) but now it is Sunday morning… and quiet (I have a giant warm Bichon curled up at my feet looking at me like if I were any kind of human I would be eating something yummy and feeding 2/3 to her… which is why she is giant… at 18 pounds she usually gets her way).
This week I actually wore my favorite pair of Reeboks… quite an achievement… I bought them last year for my birthday… they are white leather aerobic high tops… I had a pair years and years ago and loved them. I hadn’t been able to wear them (too tight to be comfortable… sometimes too tight to get on even. I wore them a couple times this week and it was wonderful.
We walked 9 miles last sunday. I walked 4 days this week at lunch time. I hummed disney music (I love being able to listen to the music on dtuneslive.com at work). I made soup and brownies and felt human and optimistic.
I almost got hope that it was the MTX working… not just the Prednisone.
I’m thinking that no good mood goes unpunished…
This morning I’m uber depressed (despite the dog and the coffee with skinny caramel machiato creamer and the hot bath)… I’m thinking that it is probably only the prednisone…
My toes feel sore, bruised kind of… my wrists and knuckles are ouchy… my ankles and knees are tender…
I know (in my head I know) that MTX could be working… or starting to work… that this is just a flukey morning. But my heart is feeling kind of down.
I’m going to battle the blues the best I can today. I’m going to make meatloaf (blame THAT one on my mother… she was pointing out that they were having a meatloaf dinner for the WHOLE family last night and all of a sudden meatloaf sounded wonderful to me… but I suck at meatloaf… and I won’t be making 5 pounds of meatloaf… only a couple pounds) and see if I can scare up some more brownie mix… and I bought cherry (off brand) drink mix and lime juice so I’m going to make myself a cherry lime aid after bit… and try to psyche myself up for my half marathon next weekend.
I did get a really good pep-talk this week. I work with a guy who does ultra-marathons, or did until he messed up his knee… (ultra marathon = 100 miles). I have been battling the nagging doubt that I can actually keep up a 19 min mile for 13 miles. Not an RA thing… this nagging doubt is simply a me thing… sort of a “who do you think you are” kind of voice. Guy ran into me in the hallway on my way back from a 3 mile at the gym and a shower and we talked. He goes to the gym on occasion and we poke each other… he RUNS on the elliptical and I walk fast on the treadmill. He told me that I am ready for this. I can keep up an easy 15 min mile for at least 45 min and I won’t have any trouble with a half.
I guess in a week I will be able to verify that… or not.
now… to the coffee…
A Figment Of Fitness 
Mmmmmm meatloaf … I haven’t had that in SO long. You know what you’ve done, right? I’m going to have to make one now. :o)
You’re doing fabulously with your walks — 9 miles in one day is no little accomplishment. The most I’ve managed is 5, and I was ecstatic. When you have RA these sorts of triumphs ARE a big deal, so don’t sell yourself short. It’s hard to walk when you hurt, and harder still to walk at a brisk pace. I find myself calling cadence (you know — HUP-two-three-four-HUP). Sounds silly, but it keeps my mind focused on the walk, the speed and the rhythm rather than my yelling feet and ankles. Almost like meditation. Works a charm.
Sounds like you’re doing JUST the right things to take care of yourself on a blue Sunday in chilly February. Stay cozy — and good luck with the BIG walk next weekend. Do let us know how it goes, eh?
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It’s great how you’re sticking with this! So awesome of you! I wanted to start running at one point, years back, and a friend came up with a training chart to get me from a total nonrunner to a 10km distance (the longest race I ever did). It wasn’t easy (I don’t actually like running at all), but on the hard days, focusing on the sound of my footfalls and breathing really helped. That was, as Wren points out, almost meditative, and turned out to be one of the things that I loved best about running.
Keep on keeping on, as another friend recently told me. You should be so proud of yourself!
🙂 Laurie
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