Moody Sucks

I haven’t figured out yet what is up with being so freaking moody… but man it so totally sucks.

Being up half the night because you can’t sleep because of the achies probably doesn’t help a WHOLE lot… but moody comes even when I’m not up and I can’t quite correlate it.  There are days when it comes out of nowhere… and the mood always seems to be the same…

I get incredibly overwhelmed with the world rolling over me… like I just need half an hour all to myself to just spend doing nothing or listening to music or reading or taking a walk around the block at nearly a run to just clear away the feelings.

I don’t know if it is part of the process of RA… or part of the process of MTX… or part of the process of getting old… or just me…

I totally wish it would all just go away and I could clear out the cobwebs and get back to not wanting desperately some days to just spend a few minutes all alone.

It doesn’t help, either, that I can’t quite explain the fact that… if I can just be alone for a few minutes I will be so much better able to help everyone else deal with everything so much better… I won’t feel so hopeless and helpless and frustrated…

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