Category Archives: Poetry

RA Flare

I don’t usually post my poetry here, mostly because somehow in my brain the poetry isn’t related to the rest of me…

It is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) for poetry month (April)

I don’t usually struggle with poetry writing.  Usually it frees my mind and my heart.  This morning, not so much… today I struggle.  Today, the poem seems to be a good cross post…

 

RA Flare

Oh the full moon
this morning with the clouds
has a beautiful face

Where is the prednisone
why in the hell
did they put a childproof lid
on my freaking prednisone

Oh the coffee
smells heavenly
the creamy goodness is incredible

well hell
Broke another mug
shit I should have known it was too heavy
I guess it’s a plastic cup
kind of day

Oh thank you Kitty love
I love the way
your purrs make me smile

No don’t
not there
oh please
no no no
Sorry I scared you…
Didn’t mean to scream

Oh the peace of the morning
Sitting in the peaceful fog
windchimes sing

What, the oxy has childproof too
and even the dog’s tramadol
Someone get this knife
out of my shoulder
or get me a hammer
too much to do
got to get through

Attitude determines altitude
I can do this
I have to do this
I have to do this
I won’t puke
Find the center breathe
I think I can
I think I can

sigh

 

 

Author: April Wells
Updated April 7, 2015

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Junkie

I am a junkie
I realize
as I draw the methotrexate into the syringe.
as fear grips my heart at the idea that
I won’t be able to get my drugs
as I push the air and ensuing drop
of the Etanercept
off the end of the needle

I am a junkie
I don’t get high
from my drugs of “choice”
I get nauseous
A headache
itchy and bruised
balding
and every time hopeful
That this time my fix
will chase away the swelly pain.

I am a junkie
An RA Junkie
hear my song
I live
from injection to injection
from week to week
The hope of “remission”
an elusive dream

 

see me

Do you see me
Really see me
The me I am
Not just the me I pretend to be

You see the clown
The In Your Face
The ham they voted me in high school
The activist
The colorful flag waving goof

I hide the anger
The pain,  the fear
I hide it from the world
Beneath a thin veneer.

The hurt in my eyes
in my soul
In my heart
is there for the world to see
but the clown is much easier
Safer
less you have to care

Do you see me
Do you take the time
To really look
And see what you are afraid to see.

 

 

 

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Moon Slivers

Moon Slivers
Dawn Shivers
Morning Creeps up the sky
Day comes warmly
into the world
Chasing night clouds
Away

 

 

 

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Loneliness

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Insanity in Green

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