So, I’m sitting here having a text message conversation with someone who I used to work with. She is 4 months down the “just diagnosed” trail. Prednisone for 4 months, MTX for 4 months. She just switched to my Rheumy … Continue reading
Started out to the gym this morning. Turns out they are only open 24×5 and open at 8 on the weekends. So… a 14 mile round trip wasted at 5 am. Sigh.
Got home and started working on stuff at home… crochet projects I want to get done, have to get done, enjoy working on… writing… answering pages on pager patrol… I realized that my knuckles ache this morning. I also realized that they should have ached a few days ago if the last few months were anything to go by, so I’m thinking that I’m continuing to improve.
So, right now, I smell of Tiger Balm and thinking that I’m really glad that Tuesday is my infusion day. I’m waiting until 10:30 to take my Delsym so I can hit the gym when I take my little girl to work and get my tummy shot when I get home. I’m dwelling on trying to get better… because I need to get better for me.
Have you ever heard this? From family members? From doctors? From well-meaning coworkers? It doesn’t necessarily have to be about RA (or autoimmune disorders in general) but can really be about just about anything. In my case it is about … Continue reading
Am I REALLY that weird?
And before my kids (on the off chance that either of them actually read this) have a chance to chime in, yeah, I realize that I’m really kind of that weird in MOST ways… but… am I REALLY that out of the norm?
I don’t think I am because I’ve talked to people at work who are “like me” and they are a lot like me.
I have RA. Duh…
I hurt (big shock there). Some days more than others. Some days really nearly approach what I can remember (from half a decade ago… when normal might have been). Some days it really is like someone poured crushed glass into my joints. Most days I ache but I can take enough of the edge off to not let it rule my life.
Thank heavens that I’m not disabled… at least not yet.
I have days when it depresses the crap out of me. Again… duh…
But as a general rule, I figure dwelling on the why me… being debbie downer… why waist what energy I do have on being whiny about it? They say it takes fewer muscles to smile than frown. Fewer muscles, less work. Logic dictates that means that if I smile (even if I don’t FEEL like smiling) it is less work.
Shutting up is less work than bitching.
If I can lose myself in music (irrespective of what the music is that I chose) then I’m losing myself and not getting upset.
I understand that there are times when you really just need to dump on people who understand. Hell, sometimes you just need to dump, it doesn’t matter if it is on someone who understands or not… but I just don’t understand how can anyone spend so much time dwelling on the worst part of their lives?
Maybe I am that weird. I know that when I’m in the middle of a flair, I TOTALLY don’t feel like being mary sunshine. But I keep remembering… Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are usually right
So, I sit here, listening to the wind blow the cold front through. It’s going to get chilly tonight. I’m looking forward to that with mixed feelings. On the upside, it was 84 degrees when I left work today… it … Continue reading
So… it was 91 degrees Fahrenheit yesterday. That’s about 33 Celsius if anyone reads this who lives in a place where that is more common (as in ANYWHERE but in the US… ). About 9 last night a cold front went through. Windy and … Continue reading
Today, I feel really really good. I realized that I can make a difference… even if it is a small difference… it is a difference and it feels really good.
I was walking back to my little hovel from the break room. The janitor (ALWAYS such a chipper man) stopped me and asked me if I was the motivational one in my team’s office who has been putting up the motivational sayings on the cube walls on post-it notes.
I looked a little sheepish… I have gotten in a little bit of unofficial trouble by posting them in the “wrong” places before… and admitted they were mine.
He teared up and thanked me for the ones that are there today. The one in particular really struck him hard and made him think and made him smile.
Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light.
He said that I need to keep that up and start putting them in other places because everyone needs a little sunshine in their lives, a little motivation a little smile to make them feel a little less sucky.
It made me smile. It made me realize that maybe I do make a difference for the people I work with and around. Maybe, just maybe, the people who make fun of me all the time are a little bit wrong…
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Okay, so… like I said, I like my Buff. And I have been wearing it to work. It has met with some very mixed reviews. I have heard that some people like it. That seems to be what passes for … Continue reading