So… Dark and Quiet again this morning. Isn’t it interesting how 5 am is like that pretty much every day south of… like… Alaska? My feet are freezing and I have a fan on because I’m still having some interesting hot flashes (albiet fewer and less long lasting). I’m nothing if not a contradiction in terms. Coffee? Oh yeah… coffee. Winter Wonderland coffee from Sheetz… with York Peppermint Patty creamer.
I’m starting to feel almost human this morning. A bath will help… It’s been a LONG week… that has been entirely too short.
My new glasses came in. They came with a certificate of authenticity. Really? On a pair of glasses? I want to be able to see out of them… that’s as authentic as I really wanted… And I can. And they are transitions and progressives (because there is this tiny little thread of vanity in my heart that says I really don’t want to wear lined bifocals even if I really need bifocals). They work. And they don’t look too stupid.
And they are purple.
And Squirrel Girl helped pick them out.
It’s been a week where I have had impressed upon myself that it is okay to be me and it is okay to be okay with being me. Sometimes I forget… Sometimes I have people who impress upon me how not okay it is to be me.
This week I’ve had both.
This week… the “it’s okay” is winning so far. It’s only Wednesday.
I had lunch yesterday with a lady I used to work with once upon a time who looked me up to ask if it was okay to add me on Linkedin. It was. She did. We had lunch to catch up. It was great. Good conversation. Good BBQ. She knows awesome out of the way places to have lunch!
I was thanked yesterday for my awesomeness. I’m not awesome. I just care. And I know what it is like to want to have someone listen and care and let you know how much you really do matter. If it matters to me, why would it not matter to other people? I guess I take it for granted that being me is just being me and that is all it will be… but it isn’t… it… matters…
I was thanked a couple days ago for being kind of like a second mom to my son’s best friend. Someone who thinks that, even though he loves his mom and even though his mom loves him… I’m like a second mom… one who is a great one who makes him feel more human less of an outcast… I make him feel better. That touched me more than this young man will probably ever know.
I was thanked for posting motivational pictures and posts on facebook. Okay, TECHNICALLY it was for sharing motivational stuff that I see (no….not taking attribution for things that were not mine to take attribution for… I just wish the stupid phone would let me share… ).
I have been reminded that it matters. Sometimes… SOME times… you just need to be reminded that… it matters. And Sometimes, it is the smallest things that remind us that we matter.
DO NOT EVER doubt… you matter.
Even if people make fun of you and even if you think you are the biggest dork in the world… Sometimes it takes being your true self to let other people understand that it is okay to be themselves as well.