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Out Of Joint on my Nook

Okay, okay… I’ll admit it, I crazy as a loon.  And I will never learn… but… hey… it is what it is. I found Out Of Joint by Mary Felstiner (2005) and decided that it was worth a read… I … Continue reading

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Buddha

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A kid from work went home to Nepal for Christmas.  When he came back, he brought me back something from there… this little Buddha.  He brought it to me this morning… It looks way bigger in the picture, it is … Continue reading

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Bullying…

With all of the lip service people are currently paying to bullying (and to a great degree, it is lip service… sorry…. it is what it is) lately, it started me thinking about bullying on so many levels. Kids have … Continue reading

More Than Face Value

Do you have someone in your life that people tend to take one look at and make snap judgments about?  Someone who is one of the most amazing people… but who put people off because he looks just a little different and walks to his own drummer…?  I hesitate to call him a black sheep because 1. that is cliche and he is SO not cliche… 2… heck I’m one of the family black sheep, woooo… 3… he TOTALLY is not a sheep… that is an incredibly big thing with him.

He is such a good kid.  He is an incredible person.  He is artsy fartsy.  He reads and plays the violin and this is him with his favorite ‘thing’ in the whole world.  People tend to look at least twice when he is dressed in his big long duster, his black fireman boots, his black hat… looking morose and withdrawn and the dog (peanut) comes running up to him and his face transforms into the most beautiful smile!

He is getting up at 4 am to haul his butt into ‘town’ with me for the half marathon.  He isn’t going just to cheer me on.  He has figured out that he loves to volunteer at the event.  This year he is handing out half marathon medals.  I have a goal… to make my best time quickly enough to have him hand me my medal.  I won’t make it… but it means a lot that he wants to be there with me.

He looks out for his sister.  He is the first one to make fun of her when she deserves it (and lord knows sometimes she deserves it) but he is the most viscous in her defense when it matters… and it matters.

I also have, in my family, at least one person… actually more than one… who tend to dwell a lot on appearances.

I’m pretty sure that I’m not really high on the list of at least one of them.  I get birthday phone calls (sometimes actually on my birthday) and the first words are either about them or about wishing them happy birthday… When I get a phone call it is usually to tell me about the wonderful things that they are doing for their charity or in their lives.  When I get an email it is to ask for me to support…. this or that… never ever to just say hi.

Today I found out today that they actually are impressed with my kid.  I’m proud of him… he really is a good kid… but to know that they think he is a good kid is such a wonderful bounce to my heart… it gives me hope…

He shrugs it off… but it wonderful to know that there are people who live by appearances who think he is a good thing.

YAY!!!

The Miracle Isn’t That I Finished

Last year when we went to pick up my bib and runner’s stuff (backpack… goodies…. ) and to see what the ‘expo’ was supposed to be all about… I found a wicked cool booth with T-shirts and other stuff all about John “The Penguin” Bingham.  The miracle isn’t that I finished… it is that I had the courage to start…

I frequent his website… it makes me smile.

Today (it’s been kind of a long year) I signed up for the 100 day challenge and was fortunate enough to be able to back date the chart because of yoga and my pissed off walk from yesterday at lunch time.  So I have 98 days to go… I think I will make it.

I think a lot about the quote that sent me to his website, though.  I’m not sure that miracle is quite where I am ready to go with it… But starting is what matters.

Every day I start.  Each and every day.  Some days I start where I left off the day before, but every day I start.  And so can you.  No matter what it is that you want to accomplish… loosing 5 pounds… loosing 50 pounds… writing a book (yeah mom…. I’m listening to what I’m saying)… learning a language… getting out of bed… whatever it is you want to do… in life… in your day… in the next ten minutes.

Sometimes (believe me I know that sometimes it is what I want to accomplish in the next ten minutes!) it really is that “the task you must do is the near” (Douglas Malloch).  The hardest part almost all the time is getting started…  once you have started, you are halfway there.

 

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Fessing Up

Tonight we had Panda Express for supper!  I look on it as a celebration (found out that the enbrel support card really works… I’m hoping that what they cover will come off my deductible… but I’m not counting on it… … Continue reading

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On Bedside Manner

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately… go figure. I started out thinking about the way doctors do (or maybe don’t) learn bedside manner.  I have dealt with more than one doctor in recent years who apparently either clepped … Continue reading

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Quacks Ought To Stay In Ducks

It’s been a long and thought full day.  The more that I go through today the more that I think that if you are going to be a quack you should be a duck not a doc. I am watching … Continue reading

Some Days Are Diamonds

Sorry Kim… another song title… but today I’m grasping at straws for how to put anything.

The heat is on 70… The office door is shut (It’s a work from home day) so the heat stays in the office… My fingers and Toes are freezing… I have on 2 hoodies… and I’m nursing coffee and oatmeal.  It is 30 outside but I’m pretty sure that isn’t anything to do with it.  When I walked Squirrel into the doctor’s office I wasn’t hardly cold at all and I wasn’t wearing my jacket or anything…

Stress is an amazing thing.

Today hasn’t ACTUALLY been so much of a diamond.

Squirrel has been following her blood sugar because she has been feeling really really weird and has been showing some of the symptoms of high blood sugar.  I’ve been helping track everything because something just isn’t right… I’m not sure what, but something isn’t.

I am SO tired of the doctor telling me that the tiny dose that she takes twice a day of her lamictal is causing her breathing problems and major headaches after only taking it for 4 months.  Sometimes side effects can happen after a long long time.  Sometimes… Sometimes… Sometimes… Sometimes…

We should be using the meters that THEY use to take readings… because the EIGHT times they TRIED to take the reading with the first meter never did work AT ALL and the second meter took three times to get it to read?  Great… OH BOY…

Squirrel has been asleep for 5 hours… she has eaten a banana today… the black and blue mark from right about Christmas time hasn’t healed yet.  She feels like crap.  But she is at least resting and she should be awake to eat.

Me… I feel like someone beat the crap out of me.  When this kind of stress hits I hurt everywhere… the inflammation fights back and I just feel yuk.  But I’m really glad that I was having a work from home day today so I could be there for her… to support her and to hold her up (metaphorically)

Just Another Manic Monday

Not really so bad… actually kind of quiet.  It is drizzly and cold… my fingers and toes are freezing and I hate it.  I know that it is something that just goes with me being me but I hate that I can never keep them warm.

Coffee is wonderful.  Got up and made a pot so the squirrel would have her coffee for breakfast.  Got her up and she took her blood sugar count (171…I hate not knowing… I hate worrying… I hate not being able to give her answers).

Now… just nursing a headache and watching daytime tv.  I love pager comp time.

I’m trying to get my behind in gear, too, to get going on the half marathon.  I want to be able to put something together to video tape the ‘race’ so I can share the experience with everyone… I could try to do it with ustream but I think I probably ought to keep my phone charged in case I need it to be a phone… it would be great to be able to share real time… but I think maybe sharing it later would be way better…

We were going to go for a walk to give the insurance card to the pharmacy today… but given the rainy yuk and the not quite 40 (the damp makes that feel yukkier than it should be)…maybe not waking quite that far would be a better choice….

Does anyone know anything about Raynaud’s Syndrome?  From what I can figure out (and what I remember Dr Booth telling me) that is probably what the deal is with my fingers and toes.  Not that it is a really rare condition (one of the websites I found said it is about 1 in 20 people have it and most are women… but most have it as primary condition, not as a result of things like RA and Sjögren’s Syndrome).  I guess that the best thing I can do about it is keep taking the hot bath that I’ve been doing to warm up my fingers and toes (and hang out in my fingerless glovies)… and buy warm socks ( hows that for irony Warm Socks!!!).

I’m thinking that I may have to invest in a domain name… and make myself a real website… any thoughts…