So, it was my Orencia infusion day. It was the first one since training for the half started in earnest, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I didn’t run before I went for my infusion, I waited until lunch … Continue reading
It’s pager patrol week.. again. And it started out to be a bad week. I got paged for stuff all night long. For stuff I had to try to keep ahead of that I had no control over. It got to the point that I was getting paged about every hour and I would jump so my databases wouldn’t fall over and then I would try to do something between pages. It wasn’t working.
I tried to go for a real run. It was SIXTY SIX degrees at 6:330 in the morning. I wanted to get out in the gorgeous morning so bad. I made it three tenths of a mile and got paged. I ran home and did my magic. And got really upset because I really wanted to train… to run… to get out in the beautiful day.
I finally got talked into at least trying to go around the block. I finally sucked it up and tried my run.
And it made all the difference in my day.
I was GOING to go out into the dark. My race is in the dark. I keep thinking I need to train for the dark. But when I finally went out, it was daylight. And in that, it made so much difference. I got to see some of the prettiest morning glories climbing and creeping and shining in the sun. It wasn’t so hot that they shriveled right away. They were stunning.
I got to race a couple toddlers on bicycles complete with training wheels. The sidewalk was heavy with mud from the bike tires. The rain brought the cooler weather and the mud and brought out the giggles of kids racing a weird lady walking very fast through the neighborhood.
I saw blue jays (who did NOT want their picture taken even from reasonably far away), five of them, munching worms (presumably) in the yard.
But I did see the neatest bird with a read head. He was really neat. I thought he might be a woodpecker… but I think maybe he was a dove.
Ad I ran, I listened to music. I talked to the trees, and the flowers and the birds. They listened. I thought. I changed the way I thought.
I ran some, walked some. I ended up actually doing the run I do most days. Not the long run I was supposed to do, but based on the training plan, my “long” run should be about the run I do anyway.
Was it runners high that I felt as I walked in the road, sweat dripping down my neck?
I don’t know. I do Know that I felt better after the run, and the day looked up. I still love running through the dark, but… it made all the difference yesterday.
Pager week will never be conducive to my long runs, but I feel so much better for even getting in my short ones.
Sitting here, cold coffee (not iced, just cold) by my side, wishing the pumpkin creamer was thawing faster. I’m running through the joints in my body, taking node of what feels how. The smell of Tiger Balm hangs in the … Continue reading
This gallery contains 1 photos.
I watched a Run Disney video on YouTube this morning showing how people cross the finish line. There are so many reasons why people cross the way they do. It’s really neat to hear the stories about why they do … Continue reading
This gallery contains 5 photos.
So, I’ve been dwelling a good bit lately because I know that people think I’m as dumb as a box of rocks. My post yesterday kind of dwelt on that. I’ve been torn between being dumber than a box of … Continue reading
Today, I knew I had a lunch time meeting (which was actually a meeting I enjoyed and I think I’m going to very much like this project) so I opted to try to hit Gold’s before work. Packed my backpack with ‘gym’ clothes (underwear, dry fit shirt, an extra pair of ‘hobbit feet’ socks and sweat pants) and a towel, Secret and some shampoo. There has to be irony somewhere that I managed to get all of that, my laptop and all accompanying cords and cables, my journal and a book I’m reading into my backpack with a little room to spare. I’m getting better at this sometimes.
Hauled my butt to the local Gold’s, marveled at the fact that I had to HUNT for a parking space at Gold’s at odark thirty in the morning, crammed my backpack into a locker, got changed and hit the treadmill. I did three miles in 45 minutes. I’m starting to believe I might actually be able to do this and not get swept. Maybe.
Yesterday did me good using it as my down day. Yoga/Tai Chi/Pillates class that I went to on Tuesday kicked my butt and I’m still sore in muscles that haven’t held poses for well over a year. It was my first real yoga class since my hysterectomy. I’m still feeling it today.
Gold’s is full of people at 5 am. I was sure I would be alone in a big empty gym. No dice. I do like the big part of my local Gold’s better than the Lady’s Gym. There are really nice treadmills. The kind that will alter the incline based on a program or on your suggestion as you run. 45 minutes and I was soaked with sweat dripping from my hair and running in my eyes (mental note… find that gym towel I got a couple years ago).
As I walked, I thought about Disney. I thought about the Austin Halfs that I’ve done. I thought about finish lines and other runners I’ve seen and how this is my own race against myself. I thought about how much I hope I don’t flare in January. I hope I can keep up this pace working out. I hope I can always remember that ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ when people remind me that they hurt and that they can’t do this.
In the locker room, I was reminded that, no matter how much I am female genetically, I have never figured out how to be a girl. There was a woman about my age (maybe a bit older) in her underwear putting on her make up. She was putting on her make up at one of the mirrors (do the men’s locker rooms have this many mirrors?) when I walked into the locker room. When I pulled everything out of the locker. When I went in to shower. When I came OUT of the shower (they have actual COLD water at the gym, ah to have a place where the pipes aren’t heated by the outside air). When I got dressed. When I got my hobbit feet pulled on. When I pulled a comb through my hair and twisted it into a bun. She was putting on makeup the WHOLE time. Not doing her hair. All makeup. Sometimes I wish I knew how to “do” girl… but I don’t think I could handle taking that much time to get ready for anything.
There are a BUNCH of people just as crazy as I am out at the gym in the way way early morning.
Breakfast was Poweraid and Rice-a-Roni… and water… and Gu tablets in water.
Now, here I am. throwing a pony tail holder repeatedly for the cat drinking a cup of coffee thinking about excuses I hear from people who have no other excuse for not working out other than the excuse that it isn’t easy, they don’t like to shower at the gym, they have to get up early in the morning or take time after work and they certainly can’t take time out of their busy lunch.
I am incredibly grateful that I can do this. I am determined to keep going. I am hopeful that I will make it to the finish line in January, hopefully at least fifteen or twenty pounds lighter by the time we head to Florida.
As good as Orencia has me feeling now, maybe this will help make me feel even better.
Here’s to trying to believe in my own magic and making this dream come true.
Posted in Half Marathon, motivation
Tagged dry fit, feet socks, gym clothes, pillates, sweat pants, yoga class
Walk today felt wonderful!!! Left the house, just in time to see a few wonderful morning glories blooming in the 8 am sunshine. It was warm and humid, but not too horrible for the walk.
8508 steps (2000 steps a mile, that’s 4 miles)
8:11 – 9:15
4.25 mph
Nearly sufficient, even with a pee pit stop, to not get swept at Disney.
By the time I got home, I was hot and sweaty. And I felt wonderful!!! By the time I hit the door, I was confident that I would not get swept.
I’ve decided that, no matter how well intentioned it is, hearing how much you don’t stand a chance of actually completing a race and how much your even trying to complete it is going to ruin the day in the parks for everyone. It is demoralizing. It’s even more demoralizing when it comes hot on the tail of knowing that I’ve lost five pounds and that I actually did a day in 90 degree heat and 65% humidity at race pace.
I realize that everyone else is much better at this than I will ever be. Everyone. Everywhere. I get it. But I don’t have to be better than anyone except maybe better than I was yesterday. This is about me. I don’t care if that sounds selfish and bitchy. It’s about me. It’s my race.
Post workout… A huge glass of chocolate milk and an omelette.
I know I can do this. And I will do this. Motivation be damned.
Posted in Half Marathon, Uncategorized
Tagged Half Marathon, race preparation, training
So, I’m listening to “motivational” YouTube videos on half marathon running and finishing. The one I’m listening to right now suggests that you “put it out there” and “share it with people” because then you will really do it because you don’t want to let people down.
Don’t take this wrong, please, but… no offense, it isn’t letting other people down that worries me. It’s letting ME down that worries me. I don’t intend to let me (or anyone) down, and given that I’m hearing a lot about how much I probably won’t finish and everyone has SO many doubts that I will make it without getting swept… I have a lot of negative press to overcome. But… we shall overcome and I will cross and medal.
I need to listen to these more often. They are awesome! Seeing what to expect at key points along the way is getting me really excited. The Magic Kingdom right about sunrise? Oh man… I know that they try to keep the hype up for the Austin Half, but I don’t know how you can ever hope to out-hype the Disney World Half Marathon… This is enough to keep me focussed and training and keeping my nose to grindstone!
Given that I’m training on my own and this race I know I will REALLY be doing on my own, this motivation is helping.
Tuesday I ‘ran’ 2 miles at lunch time at the gym. Wednesday I bicycled 7 miles at lunch time. I love the gym. I’m fixing to love the gym even more!!!
I went to the second hand store today at lunch time (yay payday) and I found some awesome cool stuffed animals (Stitchy for Amandya, Donald for Adam… and a Disney Animal Kingdom Hippo for me) but I also founf a pair of sweats that are almost (almost) exactly the color of Figment. I don’t know if I will be using these pants for the half or if they are going to wear out completely before hand. But… I found a pair. I’m going to keep looking for a pair I like, but for now, these will do. I can train in them to keep my spirits up. I may forgo wearing the Figment hat in Gold’s, though. I feel like enough of a freak without having everyone laughing at me.
Why does EVERYONE look at themselves in the mirror? I mean, really? I understand people with weights wanting to make sure that they are doing it right, I guess. But I’m talking about spending the whole time watching themselves. And not just like… Oh hey… there I am… or even… wow my hair really sucks when I’m sweaty… They stare at themselves ALL the time. Okay, you’re gorgeous. Yes, your form with the jumprope is AMAZING. And you seem incredibly vain and self absorbed.
I keep trying to convince myself I’m not stark raving loony… I have to be crazy to be taking a chance on a race where I could actually get swept. The moritication of having speant an obscene amount of money on a race that I may not ever finish. It’s bad enough to be doing the race in Austin where I could be dragging my butt on the sidewalk long after they reopen the roads. But… I could get swept and never finish. I would cry so hard if I get swept. I hope I get so carried away by everything that I just go and go and go.
I’m pulling together a list of songs for my playlist. This morning I realized that I really need to add in the Owl City song from Wreck It Ralph. It might not be Disney but it is a good song anyway.
There is something incredibly weird about sitting with a half dozen other people in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, everyone typing madly on their laptops. The only sound, the nurse calling the next victim, the almost imperceptible click of laptop keys, and the AC keeping us all from suffocation. And every hour the bells of one of the nearby churches. It makes for a really nice backdrop.
Thirty minutes later… lather, rinse, repeat.
We are bonded by our need for the shots. The need to not want to scratch our eyes out of our head. The need to be able to easily pull our next breath. I wonder at my fellow peeps’s (that is SO not a word) reason for being here. Do they have a cat that lays on their head all night? What weirdness do they have as their affliction? Goodness only knows.
One leaves
Another comes and takes his place.
There is something really awesome about a doctor’s office that thinks enough of its patients to provide WIFI access to them. And there is something to be said for the fact that I can sit here and be at work all at the same time and not have to take a Paid Time Off day for every day that I need to take three or four hours for shots.
I’m betting most of my fellow trap-ees have cedar allergies. It seems like EVERYONE here does.
I hope, when I’m done with my five (wait… five in each arm… ten) shots today are done, I will feel like stopping at Gold’s and working out… I need to get ready for the Disney Half. I need to lose sixty pounds. I need to feel even more human again. I’m really liking this feeling better stuff that I have going on right now. I keep thinking that I really like the feeling and I really REALLY don’t want to jinx it by thinking that I really like the feeling.
Should I be honest and tell them I forgot to take my antihistamine? Nah… I brought the epipen so I should be reasonably good… and I can take benedryl when I get home.
I wonder how telling it is that I really am starting to not notice shots so much any more. Sometimes I get black and blue marks from my methotrexate shots. Occasionally they hurt. Usually not really so much. I hardly notice them. Now these? I feel the pinch. It really isn’t even as much as a mosquito bite. I still feel the infusions… No matter how good Keiko is about them, I feel them. Sometimes they hurt. Usually, I just feel them for a bit.
Yesterday, I told my boss (and my team mates) that I would be doing this today. I seem to be a running joke, at work. I’m a walking pharmacy. Yeah… I guess I am. And I have entirely too much knowledge and understanding of what all is going on in my body and the bodies of my family. Sometimes I get a little bent at being laughed at… but other times I realize that there is a reason I’m going through this crap and there are people who I have been able to help and to talk to who have had an easier time of it because I know and I understand. I’m not entirely sure what that makes me, but… if I can help one, and that one can help one, then maybe a few people will have an easier time.
Whatever it is, and whatever it takes… I really like how I’m starting to feel… There are times when I forget what it is like to feel really good, to feel like I’m human and like I really probably can finish the Disney Half and not get swept. And when I do, I know I will want to do it all again in 2015… this time with my daughter!
It really is all a trade off… and it really is just a matter of being Dory and just keep swimming swimming swimming… and only boing off of the little jellyfish (and making a pet of squishy).
I found my pacing strategy for the race. Given that I’m walking the race, I will be shooting, in training at least, for 170 – 180 bpm. I may not get quite there, but that is my goal. I found that as my goal in the page where this pace chart is.
LEVEL 1: VERY INACTIVE: 80-100 steps per minute = 2 mph (30 minute mile)
LEVEL 2: LIGHTLY ACTIVE: 120 steps per minute = 3 mph (20 minute mile)
LEVEL 3: MODERATELY ACTIVE: 130 steps per minute = 3.5 mph (17-18 minute mile)
LEVEL 4: ACTIVE: 140 steps per minute = 4 mph (15 minute mile)
LEVEL 5: VERY ACTIVE: 150 steps per minute = 4.3 mph (14 minute mile)
LEVEL 6: EXCEPTIONALLY ACTIVE: 160 steps per minute = 4.6 mph (13 minute mile)
LEVEL 7: ATHLETE: 170 steps per minute = 5 mph (12 minute mile)
LEVEL 8: ATHLETE: 180 steps per minute = 5.5 mph (11 minute mile)
LEVEL 9: ATHLETE: 190 steps per minute = 6.0 mph (9-10 minute mile)
Then I went to my favorite training music place and downloaded a few training mixes to start at the gym. Distance, I will use my Disney mix. But getting my speed up, I will use the intervals that I’ve relied on before. Podrunner really does rock and has seen me through trying to get healthy before. It won’t fail me!
I snagged the first three “slow” mixes this morning. 125 bpm – 130 bpm for my first week… maybe my first two weeks… at the gym.
Research and reading and a pager week weekend of thinking has me waffling between ” I must be crazy. I’m too heavy. I am not sure I won’t be flaring. There are too many what if’s” and ” Hell yes, I can do this”. I am leaning to the Hell yes.
Posted in Half Marathon
Tagged 130 bpm, 130 steps, Half Marathon, interval, music place, pace, pace chart, podrunner, training, walking pace
Lots of quality Rheumatoid Arthritis Information from RA Warrior.
You are not alone
Together, we can enlighten the world
A Figment Of Fitness 