Category Archives: Journalling

What I’m Grateful For… Day 1… my Backflip

Okay… I read the 1000 Awesome Things blog (well… started reading it) and decided that it is something I need to do.  Not because I figure I will be a smashing success or anything… I honestly don’t figure I will ever be a smashing success at… much I haven’t already succeeded at but I figure I totally need to get my head on straight and get my life more positive.

So Here I go…

Today, I am most totally grateful for my entirely too expensive backflip phone.

It has freed me to be able to take notes on the go… I invested in the Documents to Go app so I can edit word documents and excel spreadsheets wherever I am.  That means I can keep track of Amandya’s seizures, my RA days and everyones meds.  I can keep track of when Adam needs to have things in for college and when library books are due (darn… that’s tomorrow… crap…) .

I can blog on the “run” so to speak… And I have, even though most of those are short and more to the point than my rambling ones that happen when I sit at the computer… like this…

I can take pictures that I might have missed if it weren’t for having my phone (although the backflip kind of sucks at pictures because it takes FOREVER to get the camera to load)  and I can take video on the fly in case I really need to and I don’t have my ipod.

I am grateful for the comfort that it brings just knowing it is there and I can lug a phone rather than a computer and still sometimes get done what I would like to get done…

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On a Tear now~~~more rant warnings

At the risk of sounding incredibly bitchy… I’m still on a tear… about a lot of things.  I have a hunch that this means that I am back with a vengeance (RA apparently not so bad…mtx working… achies beaten down … Continue reading

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (warning… it’s a rant)

I was listening to NPR this morning and got really… frustrated. I keep thinking… WTF!!! Why?  Oh, do tell… They keep saying that they will get rid of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell when they are sure that it won’t … Continue reading

Weekend Quiet

Finally a little bit of sit down and relax time.  I should be laying down and getting some sleep, but it is finally quiet time for the weekend and I need to just veg… just for a little bit.

Cleaning for the company coming this week.  I totally wonder what the week will bring.  Tomorrow I have meetings.  Tuesday I have a team lunch.  Thursday is company and yoga… the first day of the second twelve weeks… woohoo.

My finger cut is feeling crappy.

Amandya’s newly pierced lip is healing (it is looking reasonably well).  No seizure for three weeks now… looking at the next week or so with baited breath.  This week is finals.

Adam is all registered to go to college… and will be registering for classes in three weeks.  It is so hard to believe that graduation is in less than a week.  My babies are getting all grown up.

Hoarders is on TV.  It is really hard to watch.

My hands are sore tonight… partly I think from the cut on my finger… partly because I’m just in general ouchy.

I have discovered, this weekend, that I can totally lean down on the technology that I use.  I can use my ipod and my phone to journal… to write here… to keep up with people on email… it is totally wicked cool that I have discovered apps that I can even use to track health issues and keep my ICE (In Case of Emergency) for ALL of us in one place.

What technology do you use?

I actually invested in Documents to Go for BOTH the ipod and the Backflip so I can edit documents on the go… I can journal in my little-ness and I can then upload those to evernote so I can access them anywhere.  AND I actually passed the point where I am using some of the premium accessories to the evernote app… I have passed 75 meg of uploads for the month… so I am actually earning the $5 that I spent on this month… woohoo!!!

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Up Early and Thinking

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It’s early this morning, I have a dog snuggled up next to me, all sprawled out on her back asleep.  Iced coffee is sweating on the night stand and I’m sitting on the bed thinking. Graduation is in one week.  … Continue reading

Coffee, Quiet, and doing the Needful…

It is a quiet morning.  Yeah, Yeah, it’s 6:30 and I’ve been at this an hour… but it is a quiet morning anyway.

I got up and made coffee (now I am going to be drinking either iced, or at least cooled coffee while my tongue and roof of my mouth heal from yesterday’s holy crap fiasco at work… Where is my “stupid” sign) and pulled up my laptop onto the comfy couch and started moving (copying) Adam’s poetry off of Facebook (where noone will see them because he really doesn’t have many people he has friend-ed and some of the ones he has have gone by the way side… to where they can be seen by the world.

Anyone interested in a brand new take on the world, some interesting poems, and some deep thoughts on himself and the world… his new blog is Malshaunt “Snow” Delinarian’s Poetry Blog.  I was worried that he would be upset with me for putting it out there where people can see it, but I know that he wants people to read and think (and even comment…) on his poetry.  He’s had some run ins with people who are 1. poetry snobs… ones who only like THEIR poetry or ones who don’t like anything that doesn’t rhyme… and these are the people in poetry club… 2. people who don’t understand him or who look at him and think he can’t be a poet, he doesn’t look like one.  Now he is a little gun shy on putting himself on the line.

He wasn’t upset though… he was actually excited and wanted to know how long before people start reading his stuff (14 did yesterday and I was only one of them when I was making sure that the blog actually worked).

Sometimes I feel like a total wash up as a parent… sometimes not so much.  This morning (I’m so glad that my hands aren’t hurting the way they did yesterday and the only ouchies are from yoga and stretching) I’m doing something that makes me feel like an adequate parent.

Happy Friday.

Honor Yourself

It’s Thursday Evening… Tomorrow is 10 more MTX pills and Saturday morning is Vern’s No Frills 5k.  Tonight is… time to think.

I showed up early at Yoga this morning… not WAY early, but early enough to have a chat with my favorite Yoga instructor… She noticed that I have been making adaptations to the poses frequently… keeping weight and pressure off of my wrists and hands.  Not always, but often enough that she notices.

She told me to honor my body and honor my practice.  It is less about doing it “right” than connecting with myself and doing it.  Approaching my mat with intention and doing what I do with  a Yoga purpose. She also taught me some poses that are hand specific… some she gave a name to (like spider) some she just showed me.  It is great.

Today during class we spent most of the time connecting with our breath… connecting poses with breaths… even adding some new poses, like dolphin and tree and eagle.  We also paid respect to the New Moon… by doing crescent moon pose.  It was a good day on the mat, and I actually thought.

Which was good, because when I got up this morning, my hands (both hands) hurt an 11.  It was awful.  I stooped to taking my industrial strength Anti-inflamatory.  I feel guilty taking it… isn’t that stupid…

Tomorrow (pager comp time day… woohoo… woohoo) I meet with the visitor’s bureau lady to discuss the 5k and to commit to really really doing this.  Today I emailed some people  at the school about getting some volunteers (/dev/null… great… great bit bucket in the sky… ).  I will perservere.

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Wow, what you don’t know

It has been an adventuresome week… an educational week…. and a week full of toys… Tonight I sit on the edge of 10 more MTX enjoying the feeling decent while I still can. Saturday Amandya had another seizure.  SO… 6 … Continue reading

A Stitch in Time

When I was growing up, I watched my great aunt crochet.  She made some of the most beautiful doilies.  She could look at a doily and tell you if it is the “right” side or the “wrong” side of the doily.

I’m not that good.  I can tell you, usually, the stitches that were used in the doily and sometimes even the pattern that was used… if I really work at it, I can usually copy a pattern by looking at the piece… usually.

Grandma Deniker, Aunt Bea and my mommy taught me how to work with fiber.  It is something that I really enjoy.  It is calming.  I have made dog jackets, shawls, blankets, scarves, gloves (mittens too) and a TRUCK load of head band/wrist band sets… (these are because my ears hurt when they get cold and my wrists/hands have ached for YEARS when they get cold).

One thing that mom told me when I was diagnosed was about my great great aunt and how she loved to crochet and, when she had sever RA how she had to come up with creative ways to hold the work and hold the hooks to keep doing the work she enjoyed.

Needless to say I was worried.  I love to work with fiber.  Some days I enjoy cotton thread… some days yarn… some days really thin yarn (half way between normal yarn and thread).  I even took up hookless crochet for a little while (which isn’t easy but is fun).

When I work with yarn, I can usually work with a big enough project that I can cover up my cold achey fingers and hands with the work on occasion, to make them feel better.  I carry a couple wrist warmers just about all the time because they are great.  I can put on topical pain cream (I love tiger balm) and it keeps the cream on my body and it adds the “hold the heat in” factor too… and keeps the slime from getting all over everything.

There are days when it hurts an awful lot to work with anything… the inflammation just makes it hard to hold the yarn/thread and the hook… and making everything move the right way is difficult.  But I’m working on a couple of comfort/ghans… and knowing what I’m doing makes it all worth the trying.

I’m working on Amandya one for when she is feeling put upon by the seizures (like today… she had another one this morning) … it will be many different colors of granny squares… This is the one that I’m working on the hardest because it is for my squirrel girl and it makes me feel good that I will be able to always be there wrapping her in love.

I’m working on one (not quite as hard) for Adam so he always knows that he is loved, too.  Again… granny squares (because I can weave pieces of yarn that I love into bigger pieces of love to them.

I’m also making some spare squares for one that I want to make for me.  Mine might not get quite so big… maybe more of a shawl because it is smaller and not as hard to get the squares for… but I’m working on it anyway… so I can curl up and feel warm and covered up.

I curl up now with my mile-a-min lace throw… the one my mommy made me… it is one of the things that I have that I treasure dearly… that throw and my friendship block quilt that dutchy made me…

it is the small things.

I wish Amandya were interested in learning to crochet so I could pass this on to her… but it is something I treasure anyway…

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A week of reality checks

It’s been an interesting week.   I had good news on Monday… my thyroid test was normal.  Guess that shoots that whole deal on blaming my not being able to loose weight on THAT… ah well… was worth a shot. … Continue reading